2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There is always a choice in a person's life. Now, while typing, I decide which word I will use. I will give preference to one of the many, rejecting the rest. Gradually I'll get what I get.
But I can stop and wait for someone to type for me. I can give myself advice for a long time which word suits best. Or weigh it for a long time and decide not only about the word, but also about the text itself. And I thought of three people the child was watching. He watches how they make a choice, and from their experience he tries on the position that will be beneficial for all participants.
One, for example, of these three, the doubter. He freezes and waits for someone to make a decision and then follow him. Another is surprised that nothing is happening and gives advice on what is better to choose, but does nothing himself. The third comes in duality - weighing the losses and profits from the planned action. Which also leads to zero result. And if you imagine them as a family, then they all work for a common goal, maintain stability. But each one individually has their own stopcock that they pull off. So they take care not only of themselves, but also protect each other from some difficult experiences. So, what can threaten them?
The first (this is he in the description "the first", and so he can be anything in the account) without making a decision, he gives responsibility to another, avoiding punishment and not ransom guilt for failure. Gets a chance to blame spouse, colleague, boss, etc. in the perfect choice. But he can be stopped by the fear of achievements - who knows what will happen next?
Second, he tries to realize himself through his advice. Himself not daring to succeed and become what he wanted, and maybe he also wants. He invites others to do it. Then to be touched by other people's laurels, as if they were his own. He may be afraid to be better than someone who is important to him, to feel the hatred of a person whom he has surpassed in achievements and creative talents. He agrees to give away rather than collect for himself.
The third, carefully weighing all the pros and cons, having enough arguments on both scales. Treading on the spot trying to predict, to take control of this undefined, ever-changing world. He does not want change, just not to regret the choice he made and the loss of time. He will not get on the boat, even if he remains on the island alone. Then he will devour himself, as they once devoured him for actions, for an experiment that failed.
So three of them, they pass "hot potatoes" to each other in the hope that someone will decide on an act. The first one is angry that no one dares to do for him and take responsibility: "One only advises, the other dabbles in weights." The second one does not understand why no one uses great recommendations? Irritated at the expectant and thinking: "The advice is excellent, and there is nothing to hesitate!" The third is surprised at the languid sighs of one and the impatience of the other: "We must weigh and calculate everything."
And the child, observing all this, writes down to himself in a notebook. She nods her head, choosing her favorite option for resistance on the way to a new one. Yes, so as to please the one with whom he is “friends”, whom he values, taking an example from him. However, he will not disdain in other ways, if they will carry the guarantor of stability and are suitable for a common goal.
And if it's hard to become an adult, he sees that a lot of tension has gathered between them, and he will come to the rescue. Take responsibility for everyone and implement the advice of one of them. Then the first, there is nowhere to go, will follow him. If something happens, then he will blame and punish. The second will receive "laurels". The third will be freed from thought. And the situation remains unresolved. After all, a child is not able to decide for adults, but can only distract them. But what is the purpose? So that everything remains the same.
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