2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Often mothers, sincerely believing that they wish their children well, begin to prophesy their fate.
Usually, the reality of such mothers is not at all an example to follow. But they are absolutely sure that their world is the only correct one, and no one except them knows how to live. Therefore, even adult children persistently interfere in the decisions. They guide, advise, indicate: what to cook for dinner, what repairs to make, where to work, with whom to be friends, whom to love, and the like. And if you can somehow protect yourself from such actions [filter; make it appear that you are listening; openly express dissatisfaction and build boundaries], it is very difficult from their prophecies.
The mother can predict veiled:
- I feel…
- I had a dream …
- in our family always …
- folk wisdom says …
Or he can make a suggestion:
- it will be like this …
- will definitely happen …
Mom is the most significant person in everyone's life (whether we want it or not). Therefore, it strongly affects us and our subconscious. Her words are absorbed by the subcortex and begin to work. And no matter what it is [conditionally bad, the best or "none"], we have a clear installation in our brain: MOM DOESN'T WANT ME EVIL. And voila … the mother's prophecy starts to work …
At a certain moment, each of us needs to separate from dad and mom, live with our own head and make our own decisions. But in the case of codependency with parents, this does not happen. And already an adult remains under the influence of a mother who does not want to let go of her child.
Good parenting encourages you to respect your parents and be grateful for what they did for you. But you still feel that you are very cramped, and sometimes it is unbearable to "be in the same bed" not only with your husband, but also with your mother.
Help yourself:
The best way is to prevent your mom from participating in any part of your life. If she doesn't want to let you go, the way out is to end the relationship. I know it hurts a lot. But you need to choose: live your life or your mother's, and constantly maintain her dependence on you.
By breaking this connection, you will give a chance not only to yourself, but also to your parents to free themselves from codependency with you and live your life.
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