2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
First, I would like to talk about your feelings. After all, what you come to therapy with is important material that opens the way for you to understand yourself and solve problems. Society outside of psychotherapy treats your feelings expressed on every occasion with rejection, discontent, aggression
If you, for example, tell your bosses or parents, loved ones or just people whom you meet on the street everything that you think of them, you will be considered abnormal and will avoid meeting you, expressing their dissatisfaction with your behavior. In psychotherapy, your feelings and emotions for other people are encouraged, and especially if these are emotions for the therapist. Moreover, there are feelings that regularly arise in your experiences and haunt you. Feel free to tell your therapist about your feelings, emotions and experiences!
This will allow you to better understand yourself, how you treat other people, what mistakes you make, what prevents you from correcting the situation. And look at yourself from the outside. Psychotherapists are those people from whom you will not receive condemnation of your expressed emotions, on the contrary, you will receive support for your experiences if you are open to it. A good psychotherapist is someone who has a non-judgmental acceptance of each client and who places the uniqueness of each individual at the heart of the entire counseling process.
Any person in front of a stranger will strive to look better, more correct, hiding their negative sides in themselves. And this is true. We are afraid to open up to society, because we are afraid to expose our fears, weaknesses, shortcomings. We are afraid of being "socially naked" and vulnerable to a society that poses a threat from all sides. Especially if we had such a negative experience in our life, if we already opened up to someone (close or barely familiar), but did not receive approval of the act, support of feelings, meeting coldness and indifference. Do not strive to be good in front of the therapist. First of all, you need to be yourself, although it is not easy. You may not open up to him right away, but believe that your efforts will not be in vain. And after a few meetings with him, having established trust, you will be able to open the most intimate corners of your soul to him. You just need to be patient!
Let's get back to looking good. A psychotherapist is not needed to admire your imaginary virtues, your invention of an embellished life. Otherwise, what's the point in all this? How can he help you if you are not who you say you are? He may be happy for you, proud, but will this solve all your difficulties with which you came to him. Friends and parents can support you in this way and you do not need to waste time on it.
Perhaps after a few meetings (and maybe after the first one), you will feel that this whole idea of counseling and therapy was not a good idea. Or you suddenly have other, "more important things to do." Or you change already the fifth psychotherapist, thinking that he is not suitable for you. The fuse has disappeared, the motivation to work has disappeared … The list goes on. All these reasons indicate resistance to changing ourselves (we are accustomed to safety, and changing ourselves is really very difficult, especially when our behavior patterns have been developed over the years). Resistance is precisely the reaction to potential or already visible changes taking place in your life. Do not stop at the achieved results, even if they seem insignificant to you so far! Do not quit therapy at first will, it is better to discuss everything that is happening with a psychotherapist and then you will be able to see this situation from a different angle, making discoveries in your personality and life! Overcoming resistance to therapy will allow you to embark on a path of deeper change.
The last thing I wanted to write about is the anxieties and fears with which each client comes to therapy. It seems to many that the therapist will pump out information about his life from the client, like a pump for water. But this is not the case. The psychotherapist is a companion. He walks alongside, guides you and supports you. In your fears. In your joys. In your feelings and emotions, whatever they are. He will never go where the client does not want. He will walk with you on the road that you choose yourself. After all, this is how the psychotherapist does not make another person out of you, but expands YOUR boundaries of his own knowledge.
I hope I didn’t scare you to seek help from a professional therapist and wish you success in this, albeit sometimes difficult, and sometimes pleasant path to your personality, to your “I”!
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