How Narcissists And Paranoids Are Drawn Into Their Snares

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Each of these types have specific tactics for attracting their victim.

Narcissists and sociopaths are similar in their seduction. At the first stage of rapprochement, they begin to exalt their sacrifice to heaven, and on the contrary, belittle themselves. A narcissist with all his appearance shows that you are smart and beautiful, when he himself is stupid and flawed. You have an excellent job - they have been looking for their place for years, trying to realize themselves, you have good friends - while at the other pole there is "permafrost" and loneliness. In everything the narcissist knows about you, he is trying to find something to make him one step lower, unhappy in your eyes. A victim who looks with faithful eyes and tries to get your attention. As a rule, this is accompanied by stories of unhappy love, conflicts with loved ones, difficulties at work, unrealizable dreams, difficult childhood with deprivation, rejection of parents, their dislike … that the narcissist began to implement his deliberate and ruthless plan. The eyes are covered with a veil of sugary words that seem sincere, and the soul is filled with pity for this person. He wants to show with all his might a different life, without negativity, inferiority. When it seems to you that you can save him from all the troubles and misfortunes that befell him, the poisonous flower slams shut. Strong and long-lasting.

What many victims regard as the beginning of a great and deep feeling is, for narcissists and sociopaths, a superficial and short-lived idealization. Admiration has a downside - envy. The narcissist wants to touch you and "drag away" these qualities with him. But this is done so subtly and skillfully that you do not notice anything. The strength of his sincerity towards you is killing you.

Narcissists can play any role and show any emotion if you expect them to. Therefore, at the stage of drawing closer to their victim, narcissists show increased attention to your stories, experiences, difficulties, emotions. They become a "mirror" for you, which begins to reflect your whole life. And then the question comes: “How can it be that he has known me for a week, but already understands me so well ?!”. This is due to the fact that narcissists quickly gain trust, but at the same time "tune their wave" into the language of the victim. They start meeting your expectations, saying what you want to hear. Your thoughts become their thoughts, your dreams become their dreams. As a result, you remain disarmed in the face of such an understanding, attentive, caring, empathic partner with whom you have so much in common, unique and valuable to you.

The narcissist can also unite with you against the rest of the world, cause guilt, involve manipulation, belittle you, exalt himself, and change these roles. You do not notice how depreciation comes to replace idealization …

Paranoids, however, seduce in a completely different way. They do not go out of their way, attracting their attention. The paranoid carries the image of a serious, solid person. Many women look for this image of a man's support, a reliable shoulder in a man, and fall into these nets. Added to this image is the fact that the paranoid positions himself as a "monogamous", imprisoned for marriage. This is the dream of many women. Despite this, from the first days of relations with a paranoid, he discovers in himself far from attractive qualities - jealousy, the desire to control another person, suspicion, a sense of ownership. His requirements are tough, and failure to comply with them causes a storm of emotions. But the dream of a reliable partner with the aim of creating a family is regarded by the victims as a manifestation of serious paranoid intentions towards them.

To put the squeeze on his victim, the paranoid will threaten to leave, impose a sense of guilt, resent that the victim does not meet his expectations. All this is done with the aim of "shaking" the victim so that she begins to take steps towards, change "for the good of the common cause."

Despite such different tactics, the victim feels the same way. Here are the signs that you are in a relationship with a predator:

- the feeling that this person understands you like no one else;

- despite the fact that you have known each other for only a week or two, he wants to talk about everything and for some reason you have the conviction that he will accept it and support you;

- you are in a state that you have never experienced before, it seems to you that this is not happening to you, that this cannot be;

- you do not remember the details of your conversations, everyone overshadows feelings;

- your appetite has changed, sleep has disappeared, it is difficult for you to concentrate on your studies, work, your daily activities;

- you often check your phone and social networks, expect calls and messages from him;

- you feel a surge of energy and strength mixed with joy and desire to move mountains;

- you can give up your principles, start dating a married man, agree to a rash act;

- you notice at some points in your relationship ambiguous situations: you are told about joint plans, but you do not see their implementation in action, you are promised something, but they do not fulfill the promises;

- catch yourself thinking that just recently this person was unpleasant to you, annoyed you with something, and now you like him;

- you feel your desire to show yourself from the good side, talk more about your merits.

If you notice one or more of these signs, run! Next to you is a ruthless person who is ready to gnaw all of you piece by piece, enjoying your pain.