2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It so happens that an unspoken taboo has developed in society on children with disabilities, i.e. with disabilities. And although "inclusion" is walking all over the country, i.e. specialized kindergartens and schools are being reorganized, and children with special needs come to mass institutions - this changes little in the lives of these children and their parents.
Are their capabilities really limited? Or, without understanding the essence of the issue, comparing it with ourselves, “healthy”, we put this stigma on the child for life? For me personally, this abbreviation - HVZ - evokes other clues: "special", "probabilities", "health". Which means: the probability or improbability of discovering the hidden possibilities and tasks of a “special” child, his inner most powerful resources, his entry into society, into the world, depends only on us - the family, professionals and the environment. socialization.
According to the classification proposed by V. A. Lapshin and B. P. Puzanov, the main categories of "abnormal" children (the term of the authors of the classification) include:
- Children with hearing impairment (deaf, hard of hearing, late deaf);
- Children with visual impairments (blind, visually impaired);
- Children with speech impairments (speech pathologists);
- Children with musculoskeletal disorders;
- Children with mental retardation;
- Children with mental retardation (+ schizophrenia);
- Children with behavioral and communication disorders (RDA, ADHD, etc.)
- Children with complex disorders of psychophysical development, with so-called complex defects (deaf-blind, deaf or blind children with mental retardation).
Of course, the parents themselves know whether their child is classified as "abnormal" or not. But a very small number of parents know that working with a child's soul and helping him is possible even with the most non-optimistic diagnosis. Each parent must know, must be sure that psychological support, therapeutic work will help the child to socialize and find himself in this world, regardless of the diagnosis, that is, to heal mentally. Because in the space of the meeting between the psychologist and the child, communication takes place far from only at the verbal level - a professional by his essence, his soul coexists with the soul of a little person. And, gradually, each at its own pace, goes to a level higher than it was before the meeting.
Alas, our life shows that parents, basically, with the "light" hand of a doctor, put an end to any kind of successful socialization of their child "with a diagnosis." Such a child does not even raise the question of any tasks and gifts hidden from our "blurred" perception. And this is one of the reasons why parents and children lose the opportunity to overcome difficulties together, to become stronger, wiser and happier together.
In the process of atypical development, not only negative aspects are manifested, but also positive capabilities of the child, which are a way of adapting the child's personality to a certain secondary defect. For example, in children with no vision, a sense of distance (sixth sense), distant discrimination of objects when walking, auditory memory, touch, etc. are acutely developed. Deaf children have mimic gestural communication.
Each child, as a bearer of his own (subjective) experience, is unique. But only we - parents, society - consciously or unconsciously do not want to accept this uniqueness. Often we even push our "normal" children forward and cry with tears: "This will shock them!" But children with disabilities only shock us adults. With their own fears, unfulfilled expectations and the imposition of patterns. But such children need help and support at every step in society, at least up to a certain point. Therefore, it is necessary from the very beginning to create for everyone not an isolated, but a versatile environment. Here a person, a professional, should appear, not personally involved in the situation, but having the ability to maneuver his own soul and help "special" children: the discovery of their deep self and socialization.
Why do my parents come to me at all? For changes.
Do I own the art of these changes? The answer to this question will be some of my experience, which I will tell you about.
How does our Meeting with the child, our joint work take place? Always different.
Here I rely on the opinion that I have already voiced: each person has his own unique task and resources for its implementation. In the process of fine work with a child, we together discover his I, his task, his resources through drawing, sand, water, toys. Through the body and work on its relaxation, emancipation, tk. in all complex diagnoses, the body is one continuous "block", a bunch of emotions, energies, thoughts that have not been voiced outward, and much more. It is here that we connect the experience of naming what is happening by its proper names, when the child is verbalized what is happening with him, with his family, what is happening here-and-now.
It is a mistake to believe that a child who does not come into contact even with his mother does not understand or feel anything. It is important to talk about reality in words that reflect the existing reality, and not look for something "soft" and "vague". I will add that the work with the body occurs precisely due to the unlocking and the ability of the child to be what he is. Therefore, we are not talking about massage or anything like that.
Our journey almost always begins with a return to that child's past, which can be considered a resource one, the closest to such a conventional concept as “norm”. This is an important stage in any diagnosis, extremely important, for example, in cases of autism. A child is not born with autism, he acquires it. I will not describe the mechanisms, I will only say that at a certain moment something happens with the interaction with a significant loved one (mother) and the child closes. But this was not always the case in his life. Even if it is prenatal, i.e. prenatal period, you can work with it.
The main point in our meeting is unison, congruence, rapport - there is a huge variety of designations for what, after all, is difficult to put in a word, but this is the only basis for the work. This is what allows the child to trust me, and for a while to become something whole with each child. So the child takes a step (each has his own - from a millimeter to a jump) into our social world and gradually, sometimes with regressions, approach the expression of his emotions, his thoughts, enters into what we call "communication", learns to recognize himself and others. The child has the opportunity to be in a team, communicate, act according to the instructions of his elders (and without this, learning as such will not happen), i.e. socialize in the world of children and adults.
What I hope to create with parents for their child's most significant "steps" is trust. Trust yourself and me, trust that everything changes and does not stand still. The same applies to the child in full. Your child came here for all of us and your willingness to help him (him, and not your own fault, which, alas, it happens to your unfulfilled dreams and beliefs, etc.) can in itself become sufficient grounds for promotion forward and possibly healing. So that he again laughed merrily and played pranks, so that he showed the drawing that he had only tried to depict before, so that he would receive his first assessment and share it with you, so that he would share the sorrows and joys that replenish his life every minute, and ride bike, and played with friends, and became exactly the one he dreamed of, and … Yes, there are a lot of them, these “i's” - everyone has their own. But the fact that we can come to them is for sure.
"Then He touched their eyes and said, according to your faith be it unto you" (Matthew 9:29)
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