Rusty Mine Of Incest. Assistance Techniques

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Today we will talk with you about what, usually, it is not customary to talk about, even with close friends.

Many people for a long time, as if they do not remember this, because incest is a very difficult test for the psyche, so very often memory blocks events that a fragile child's brain cannot assess.

As a rule, we run into incest, like a mine that has lain in the ground for many years in the course of therapy. And on how careful the therapist will be, depends "will explode or not."

And even if it doesn't explode, a rusty mine is capable of ruining a person's life for a long time, if not always. Especially personal life.

Instest (lat. incestus - "criminal, sinful"), or incest, - sexual intercourse between close blood relatives (parents and children, brothers and sisters)

In addition, psychologists refer to incest relationships between non-blood relatives (stepfather-stepdaughter, stepmother-stepson, uncle (aunt's husband) -niece, etc.)

Distinguish between physical and psychological types of incest. Conventionally, they can be distinguished as follows:

Physical incest - contact

Psychological incest - contactless

• People who have gone through physical and psychological incest, as a rule, with great distrust refer to the world, in general, and to the opposite sex, in particular.
• Often these people have a disturbed body image.
• Terrible not self-love.
• Endless guilt.
• In addition, they are constantly in the position of the victim.
• These people seem to be punishing themselves for the dirt that, once in childhood, unwittingly, brought on themselves.
• And at the same time, more often than not, they are drawn to those who look like a seducer.

I will give examples from practice

Names and some circumstances have been changed. Permission to publish in this form has been obtained.

Psychological incest

Leila, 31 years old (suffered from anorexia as a child). My father often walked around the house in a terry dressing gown, under which there was nothing else. For some reason, precisely, during the absence of my mother at home, the dressing gown was often flung open, as if by accident. At the same time, he kept talking about how modest I should be and all the time scolding me for doing something wrong. Now I come across men with a similar style of behavior, with the complete permissiveness that they allow themselves, I always do everything wrong.

Physical incest

Eugene, 42 years old. At first, my mother just washed me until I was thirteen, and then she seduced me, right in the bathroom. It never came to the act, as such, but what then happened between us could not be called a healthy relationship. All these "games" continued until the moment I joined the army. When he returned, she already had a man. We never talked about it with her. By the age of fourteen, I began to get very fat. I went to wrestle, started running, but as soon as I slow down a little, the extra weight covers me. All my women, including my wife, were much older and similar in type to my mother. I don't know myself, it seems to be by accident, it happened every time. Relationship with the mother is relatively good. Only she didn't let me live with anyone. I found the strength to leave for another city. She monitors me over the phone anyway.

How can you help people in situations like this?

Option 1. The well-known technique of Gestalt therapy "Hot stool" (works well when working with victims of violence, pedophilia)

1. Put two chairs.
2. Imagine that the person who has committed incestuous acts is sitting in the chair opposite. You can put an object on it that will personify the aggressor.
3. It is important that the person responds with their feelings.
4. If there is a desire, "to give free rein to hands", you can hit the object, throw it
5. This is done until the person feels better.

Option-2 Arrangement with the help of substitute aggressor and victim

8-Step Algorithm for Classic Systemic Arrangement

Option-3. Arrangement with floor anchors

Structural constellation Aggressor-Victim-Rescuer

Option-4. Arrangement using figures. Bert Hellinger believed that incest is a "disruption of the flow of love" in the family system. You can see where this dynamic started from.

Figure constellation in individual counseling Part-1

Figure constellations in individual counseling. Part 2

Option-5. Deal with trauma with the help of art therapy technicians. For example, to sculpt from plasticine a symbol of your feelings associated with this situation, and in the process of therapy, transform these feelings.

Option-6. Siwoldrama. You can use this motive.

How to work with partnerships using Symboldrama

Option-7. You can write a letter similar to the following content

I want to finally tell you…., (appeal) that all these years I could not (la) forget … (describe) I did not know how to relate to this, but now I want to tell you how I felt then … (list feelings) … What happened was only your fault, because you were an adult, and I am a child! I cannot forgive you that all this led to the following events in my life … (list). It happened because your behavior traumatized me very much. And I return you responsibility for …

• From now on I am free (a) from responsibility for those events!
• From now on I am free from feeling ….!
• From now on I am pure and live my life, without looking back at it!

The letter can be torn into small pieces and burned!