How To Respond To Childhood Aggression?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The topic of aggression is controversial. Who thinks aggression is always bad? Aggression can give us energy, and even motivation, to be an impetus for development. A certain level of aggression is normal. A certain level. We all get angry sometimes, feel anger, resentment, and even rage. Is there someone here who has never been angry? I don't think there are any. Children also experience these feelings.

Another thing is how we use and manifest this aggression. In this article, we will look at how to help a child direct aggression in the right direction so that it does not interfere with either the child or those around him. Or rather, we will consider one of the aspects, but in my experience, very important.

I propose to look at childhood aggression in the following context: why does the child resort to aggression? What does he want to tell us by this? If we understand this and create conditions for the child in which he will have the opportunity to express this need in a different way, without resorting to aggression, then the situation will begin to change.

So what do you do? To begin with, lend a helping hand. Does this sound absurd to you?

At consultations, I hear from parents of children with aggressive behavior: “Why praise him? Why help him? When he behaves like that. " This is where a vicious circle is formed. If we do not help the child, then he will continue to show his needs with the help of aggression. Following the logic of an adult: there will be less and less reason to praise him. The adult will increasingly experience anxiety / anger / shame / powerlessness, and as a result - "break down". Which, in turn, will lead to the child's struggle for attention, by any means, with the help of aggression.

Only an adult can break this vicious circle. The first step towards meeting should be made by an adult. As soon as an adult begins to help the child, and not to scold / teach / read “morality” / punish, so immediately this vicious circle begins to unfold in the opposite direction, in a favorable one. The child, feeling support and help, demonstrates constructive behavior, in response to which the parents have a desire to praise the child. Try it! Yes, nothing will change right away. But gradually the “snowball” of mutual grievances and reproaches will stop gaining more and more momentum and will begin to melt.

We will talk about how else you can help overcome aggression, how to cope with your emotions and how to praise your child correctly in the following articles. See you!