2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Love, what is it? Is it an ardent combination of two passionate hearts? Or a calm serene existence of intertwined worlds?
We can talk for a long time about the hormonal and neurobiological processes in the body during love, but our human brain is warmest of all the language of the image, because it is in the image that love is contained - it is the image. This is not just an image of a person, this is all that unique combination for each of us, woven from dreams, memories, experiences, other people, books, feelings, experiences that we inspire. And love is also a need …
The need for a safe environment, acceptance and acceptance.
Sometimes a person's psyche gets confused so that an unsafe relationship is passed off as security, for a banal reason - through habitual repetition. To simplify it very much, for example, the child grew up in a family where the parents constantly fought and reconciled, they had a lot of anger, distrust towards each other, and of course he (the child) felt bad, but his psyche recorded this as a condition, and then, then what is familiar is safe, so a person grows up and reproduces a given scenario, because he does not know anything else. Such a pretense of love, a desperate search for something better, but an unconscious desire will return to the same.
False love is where there are constant demands to prove and assert it, both unilaterally and mutually, constant emotional swings, games in which someone is trying to prove something to himself or to another.
We can say that two immature adults entering into a relationship carry their default relationship patterns, and also remain in these relationships the same child who expects another supposedly "adult" to finally hear about him, take care of his child's needs and muffle fear. As a result, we can find new partners and enter into other relationships, but playing the same scenario, changing only the characters, the psyche supposedly gets at least some kind of security, but in fact it is in its own trap.
To change the plot, you will need a lot of strength, attention, and work on yourself, which consists in identifying actual experiences, realizing them and accepting responsibility. For everyone, it can be a different path, both in time and complexity, but absolutely real and possible. And this road actually leads to its authenticity and true love.
After all, true love does not require proof - it simply says how “I am ready to provide your safety in exchange for your similar readiness”, this is how the devotion of two adults sounds in the language of love.
But the mother's devotion to the child sounds like this: I will ensure safety for you and myself, feel the difference? After all, this is exactly what happens in a relationship between two adults who demand a guarantee and constant proof of their value from a partner.
We create in safety, we have ideas, plans, and what is most important - the strength and resources for this implementation. Love is also a joint creation in which we share warmth with each other. When we are busy constantly adjusting security, then the forces go to a maximum of creative adaptation to the partner.
I would say true love gives a resource and development for oneself and another, and false love is a constant investment or robbery of mutual resources, where they are thrown in one direction or the other, but not growth.
Love exists here and now, it inspires and supports, and dependent love lives in the past, it takes away and stops. Therefore, everyone has the right to their own choice. And that's all there is to know about love.
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