You Can't Be Sad

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

How often do we divide our feelings and emotions into good and bad, useful and harmful, worthy and shameful. We do not admit, we are embarrassed to accept.. But meanwhile, each of our emotions has its own meanings and tasks, even such seemingly unattractive ones as anger, disgust, sadness. Conscious and accepted, they can sometimes perform tasks that are beyond the power of more pleasant and "worthy feelings."

… Purification, reconciliation with reality, change of vision is not a complete list of psychic transformations that are important for us, to which “unattractive feelings” can lead us

The story of one lady with whom I worked, somehow by chance discovered the simple and important meanings of such an emotion as sadness.

We worked for several months with her request to recover from severe mental trauma.

From the first meetings, I noticed that Olga (let her name be Olga) is invigorated all the time, even when she talks about the overwhelming burden on her soul, about the irreparability of what happened … about understanding the weakness of her position.

She seemed to be ashamed of her true feelings, dressing them in "decent and worthy" words and speaking in a cheerful, cheerful voice.

During several regular meetings, Olga spoke important, uncomfortable, embarrassing and painful, freed herself from the fixation of internal dialogue and felt relief. The realization came to her that a resource of joy is needed, at least a little bit … to move on, to be alive

The psychosomatic manifestations of the body gradually began to be realized and the symptoms began to reveal their meanings.

By the end of the third month Olga felt much better, she gained strength and interest in life. She went to travel.

When she returned, I was surprised to see a completely different person. No … not an easy, happy woman.

I saw a woman who now knows a secret.)

Olga said that she went to a popular youth resort, where life thundered, champagne flowed like a river, the sea smiled and people had fun as they could. Quintessence of joy, carelessness and lightness.

For the first few days, she diligently tried to relax, be filled with lightness and feel joy. But something prevented me from doing it. Olga described it as a tension in the abdomen in the form of a spring or a tight screw. She separated him from herself, filled him with a resource, dissolved and warmed up. The tension didn't go away. It did not let you get drunk, immediately translating the effect of alcohol into the heaviness of the head. It was clear that the screw was not going anywhere.

There was a 24/7 drive around. Music, a 24-hour restaurant, men interested in it..

Wonderful landscapes, sea.

A week later, Olga got used to the screw, resigned herself to the fact that she was a stranger at this celebration of life and decided to spend the rest of the week somewhere in a quiet corner with a book in her hands.

Two days before departure, she, tired of the cheerful loud music, came to supper in a small empty restaurant. Having made an order and sitting alone in a corner, she caught herself numbly listening to beautiful sad classical music. It was not even music, it was the State. There was Sadness, Beauty, Pain and Hope. Music poured into her and filled her whole body. The body vibrated with these states. It was the same Sound, the same Sense, the same Question and the same Answer. And the screw began to soften and drip. By the brook. With tears. The tension in the body has dissolved! It was a Meeting with myself, with my Sadness. Olga felt all the shades of this sadness: reconciliation with what is irrevocably gone, and dissolution of pride, and acceptance of her "lack".

Internally, it is reflected in the external. Olga finally let Sadness in.

Before that, Olga was afraid of her, it seemed to her that sadness would swallow her up, immobilize her and turn her into an old woman. And Sadness kept knocking like a cleaning lady in a resort hotel to do her job.

Reconcile, cleanse. Olga did not let her in, she just turned on “the comedy on TV louder” so as not to hear the knocking”.

And then Sadness still entered, joined, filled with itself. And it turned out to be not at all scary, not at all old and not even boring. She turned out to be thin, sincere, graceful and not heavy.

Olga seemed to have ceased to flounder exhaustedly on the surface of the troubled sea, let go of the fear of being weak and, touching the bottom with her foot, began to float up. It was not scary to sink to the bottom. It was from its hard surface that it was easiest to push off. Acceptance appeared, it dissolved the lump of tension.

That evening Olga for the first time at the resort became limp, intoxicated with a glass of wine and slept for 10 hours in a deep, comfortable sleep.

In the following days, she realized that she didn’t need to figure it out! about what she needs, you can feel it. Thoughts and body showed very different things. Olga thought about joy, that it was Joy that was needed and would save and renew, and the body explained that the key was different.

Sadness - it would seem an unproductive and non-resource feeling, somewhere next to it despondency flashes, meanings pale, the body becomes lazy and lethargic.

But she doesn't just come.

She has to say something important. It has important meanings and functions.

To avoid her, not to let her in, to be ashamed is not to let her do her job. And sadness will knock over and over again, blocking the paths for joy, for pleasure, for novelty.

Accepted, it warms up and begins to brighten, and then bows out altogether to make room for other visitors: interest in life and inspiration, for example).