2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
This article is about how you can turn a consultation into a theater of the absurd. And also about how you can engage in self-improvement, knowing the basic messages of internal growth. Well, and a little about where tens of thousands of practicing psychologists come from.
"Well, what is there?"
If you are churning out consultations like on a conveyor belt, then there is always a great temptation to simplify your work to a minimum. The client came. The client sat down. We ought to sluggishly ask him what happened to him during the week. What if there was something interesting there? Or suddenly he himself was on the mend? And you can just relax, listen to another person …
On the other hand, reflection (self-awareness) is the key to implementing any skill, skill, or change in your life. Therefore, when you strive for positive change, it is important at first to learn how to describe what is happening to yourself. Preferably consistently, succinctly and with appropriate generalization …
You have no idea what to do with the other person's problem? You do not understand him at all and why the devil why did he turn to a psychologist in general and to you in particular? But you can ask the specified question and listen to the person with a clever look. Perhaps nodding his head, grunting thoughtfully and pauses for longer in the hope that the person will speak more out of embarrassment …
Are there any problems? And if I find it?
Do you know many diagnoses? Do you consider yourself a very smart and professional specialist? Do you dislike being doubted or resisted? Great, you have a cool way out. Set a goal for yourself as quickly as possible to reduce everything to the fact that your client has a DIAGNOSIS. Tell him about this diagnosis. Increase the value of this diagnosis for the client. You prove that without overcoming the diagnosis, the client's life will go downhill. Graciously indicate that the client will cope with his misfortune with you. If the client starts to twitch and behave somehow incorrectly - immediately remind of the diagnosis. As a last resort, make a new diagnosis. Larger and more terrifying than ever.
On the other hand, any problem you find yourself is a source of qualitative changes in your life. It naturally becomes a source at the moment when you decompose the problem into its component parts, find several solutions (even if you don't really like them) and choose one of them. Than you increase your own chances to bend the world around you …
If you do not know what to do with a person, then you can skip through 7 circles of hell for diagnostics, research of childhood, family, social environment, past lives, the state of karma, chakras and other very significant and entertaining aspects of the human psyche. Together with the client you will be able to learn so much that … the sense of the value of the research done will not leave your client for a very long time …
And what?
People - they are … people. They are always anxious, depressed, poorly controlling themselves, winding themselves up, plunging into a swamp of addictions. From them - only problems. And even the head from them can hurt. And therefore, you can safely devalue everything that they are trying to dump from their sore head onto yours. Razzzz. This is bullshit! Razz … I've had worse cases. Razz … you pretend you have a secondary benefit from your condition. Razz … you are not trying hard … If … you are not ready for psychotherapy …
On the other hand, any problem becomes much less vicious and difficult the very moment you question the problem. Not yourself! Not your life or your experiences. Namely the problem. Are you worried? Is it serious and destructive for you? Don't you see the point in what you are doing? Is there really little point in regularly doing something in your life? Are you not in control of yourself? Is it so harmful to periodically let go of the reins and follow the events of life?
Have you been given a specific task, but is it too complex, multifaceted and confusing? Well, so you always have the opportunity to ask questions. Many questions. On the topic of a person's condition, his plans, obstacles in his life. You can answer a question with a question. You can ask hypothetical questions. You can ask questions and be silent after hearing the answer. And then ask questions again. Perhaps the client himself will come to something.
What are you not a kid / little !?
Sometimes on the way you come across clients who know a lot of things and want even more. You need to cut the wings so skillfully. Alternatively, you can remind who they are. Remind about responsibility. About obligations. On the side effects of excess risk. That a titmouse in the hand is better than a crane in the sky. You can also add genetics, social values, caring for others. You can take and save another person from changes. For his own good.
On the other hand, it is important to remember that each person is raised twice in his life. First time from parents and other society. For the second time, upbringing is already laid independently. Personal values are formed and the skills that provide them. Yes, this requires inquisitiveness, perseverance (or better - stubbornness) and at the same time flexibility. And you CAN change any of your habits. The main thing is to know what horizons of behavior are generally available to you.
And you can also tell people who turn to you about how you SHOULD live. For this, your opinion or 1-2 books that you once read are enough. And more pathos and reinforced concrete confidence in the voice are also needed. Hardness compensates for any flaws and flaws in your logic. Yes, the speed of speech also helps a lot. The faster you speak, the less likely it is that someone will oppose you.
"Why are you so impudent !?"
In reality, there are people who consider themselves equal to the psychologist to whom they turn. They argue, hold on tightly to their opinions, insist on their requests, even try to establish their own rules or conditions. The question is, why do they turn to a psychologist if they are so smart? This is how you can ask them directly! To be discouraged. To understand who you need to listen to and when you need to respectfully keep silent!
On the other hand, taking risks is a basic skill for ANY change! After all, risk is an attempt to leap forward. This is an attempt to achieve a qualitative change. This is an opportunity to go beyond the boundaries of the usual (imbued with well-known shackles) comfort. And not for the purpose of change for the sake of change. And with the aim of a fundamentally different view of what is happening with oneself. For the sake of events and vivid and memorable transformations, for the sake of accomplishments.
Is your client trying to do something, invent, analyze something? The easiest way to regain control of the situation is to start arguing with the client. More precisely, no, not like that. Don't argue. Convince. Located in the position of the person on top. As Ostap Bender said: “E2-E4. And we'll see. The main thing is to speak out, to show your opinion, to prove it right - here is the recipe for consistent movement forward….
In general, this article is about independence and about support … And about the fact that in the matter of personal change there are three … you, your problem and someone who helps or hinders you. It's lousy when three (you, your problem and someone else) are against you. It's great when you play for yourself and find real support. Spoiler - it's easier to look for it when you realize what kind of support you need …
