What To Expect From Working With A Psychologist

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I wrote this text some time ago to support myself as a specialist. I share, perhaps he will give a fulcrum not only to me.

The idea was born in the process of my reflections, discussions with colleagues and the supervisor on how I can help the client, what I can influence, what I can give and where are the boundaries of my competence. I will be brief and schematic, it is possible that I missed something, because in the real process of therapy everything is more complicated and not so unambiguous.

The article can also help clients clarify for themselves what they need from a psychologist and how long it will take them to get to the result.

So. What can a person get in the process of working with a psychologist?

1. Relief

They come to a psychologist when it is difficult, when there is no more strength to cope on their own. And the first thing they come for is relief of mental pain. It can happen for a variety of reasons. For example,

• Speak out, drain energy, get support. At this stage, the psychologist is not very different from the girlfriend. It is only important that the girlfriend knows how to listen and support the process of experiencing, and does not interrupt with advice and fascinating stories from her life.
• To structure the problem. When "everything is awful and there is no way out", focusing and searching for specifics helps. Divide “everything is terrible” into specific points that are terrifying, and “there is no way out” to formulate ways out that do not suit you. As a result, the goal is formulated, the steps required to solve the problem. Here, not every girlfriend can handle it, although there are some.
• Notice what is good in life. It is logical that one does not come to a psychologist from a good life. Nevertheless, it is important to maintain a focus of attention on the strengths of a person, on what he does, what he can rely on. This is especially necessary in long-term therapy, when changes are slow and not so obvious. And it is worth distinguishing between a note of good and a search for positive where there is none, which is often the sin of popular psychology.

Relief comes immediately: during the session, or after it. And it passes just as quickly. Therefore, if you set the goal of work only to get a feeling of lightness, then this is about using a psychologist as an expensive cognac: it helps, but you constantly need more.

2. Cope with a specific life situation

Usually, a visit to a psychologist is triggered by a specific situation, which becomes a trigger. Then there may be different desires:

Deal with the consequences (focus on the past). My husband left, was left alone with the children, it is not clear how to live on. The psychologist helps:

1) to live the situation and accompanying emotions, to restore the picture of the event;

2) formulate what specifically causes difficulties or scares in the future;

3) find points of support inside yourself and outside;

4) develop a plan for how to live on;

5) start to implement it and correct it with the support of a psychologist;

6) to realize that the event has been lived and there is the strength to move on independently.

Resolve the situation, get out of it (focus on the present). I got a mistress, my wife found out, it is not clear what to do. The psychologist helps:

1) deal with the emerging emotions for the situation;

2) clarify the situation, formulate why it has arisen;

3) find an unmet need and why this particular way was chosen to satisfy it;

4) look for other ways of satisfaction;

5) make a decision whether he wants to change something, if he wants, then what;

6) based on this, make a list of steps, what exactly needs to be done;

7) start to implement the steps and correct them with the support of a psychologist;

8) to realize whether there are still difficulties in resolving the situation, whether the client can move on on his own.

I really want the situation to happen, but it does not happen in any way (focus on the future). I want to get a job, but I can't. The psychologist helps:

1) clarify whether there are external factors that hinder, for example, a very rare specialty, criminal record, etc.;

2) clarify the desire: why I want, is it my desire or so does my mother want;

3) clarify what is being done to fulfill the desire;

4) clarify what is not being done from what could have been done and why;

5) develop a list of what else can be done;

6) find points of support and ways of support outside the psychologist's office;

7) start to implement the steps and correct them with the support of a psychologist;

8) to realize that the situation has been resolved, to analyze thanks to what.

Changes in this case occur at least after 5-15 meetings (in my practice) and this is short-term counseling. The problem is resolved or is no longer relevant. The person was relieved and satisfied. The situation is isolated and did not last long in the life of the client, the psychologist fulfilled his function and the person does not need further meetings.

3. Skill to cope with similar situations

Here, too, the trigger for referring to a specialist is the situation, but it is not isolated, but regularly and constantly repeated with the same outcome. A person complains that "he steps on the same rake, he understands everything, but he cannot change anything." The psychologist does everything the same as in the previous paragraphs, but the focus of attention changes. Now he is more on researching what goes wrong, at which point a person loses freedom of choice and acts in one single way, which leads to an undesirable result. Because Since the situations lasted a long time, there were many of them, then the research process takes more time than in the previous paragraph. Stories from childhood and conversations about mom appear.

In my practice, the duration of therapy in this case is 25-30 meetings. Relief comes from the fact that there is an understanding and observation in the daily life of previously unconscious mechanisms, habitual reactions can be changed to new ones. Creative adaptation and flexibility in their own reactions returns, and hence the feeling of control over their lives. The quality of life in these situations increases.

4. Ability to avoid such situations

This is what is called non-drug psychotherapy, psychocorrection, and character and relationship therapy. This is the previous point, weighed down by the fact that there are many complex situations of the same type in a person's life, he suspects that there are personality traits, reactions or behaviors that do not allow him to live for his own pleasure: create and maintain the desired relationships with people, build a career, bring up children. For example, such a common query: “I have always been very irritable / anxious, I constantly argue with people. I want to stop getting angry / worrying and swearing”can be reformulated as a request for long-term psychotherapy, when a person asks to correct his personality characteristics (irritability, anxiety, grumpiness). And then the psychologist and the client are engaged in the fact that

1) explore how this trait manifests itself in life, why it interferes;

2) investigate how and why it was formed, in what conditions;

3) explore how it helps to adapt in life (strange as it sounds);

4) looking for a suitable new adaptation model to replace the old one;

5) make adjustments after field trials of a new behavior model;

6) if it is impossible or there is no desire to change this, then the work proceeds with the acceptance of this feature in oneself and the ways of better adaptation;

7) come to the conclusion that the personal characteristic has ceased to interfere in life.

It is even more difficult to predict the duration here than before, because there are too many factors influencing it. From 50 meetings exactly as colleagues say. And in my personal and professional experience, it takes longer. Relief, as in the previous case, comes from the fact that awareness comes, how and why it is arranged for me, the arsenal of new ways of behavior and reactions expands. Its peculiarities are either accepted, or an alternative is found. The quality of life and satisfaction from it increases.