2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
A person strives to be happy, tries at least. But from early childhood, different dangers await at every step.
Sometimes they are huge, from the category of "force majeure circumstances", for example, such as illness, death of relatives, fires and hurricanes. Grief and pain completely fill the whole soul, paralyze the will and take away strength. Time passes, and basically, strength appears to recover from illness or loss. Little by little, with pain and creak, but slowly, the shoulders are straightened, the person straightens up and moves on. There is sadness in my soul, over the years it becomes a bright memory, time gives its consolation and reconciliation.
In the physiological system of living beings, there are three ways in which the nervous system reacts to an arisen danger - flight and struggle. In the process of evolution of living organisms, a third method appeared - fading.
In the human system, any mental or physical danger is triggered by one of the same methods of defense - run / hit.
And in the case of fading, all the tension that has arisen in the human body seems to freeze in him, in his body, the will is paralyzed, the understanding of reality disappears, and freezes.
Until the moment when the threat, the danger will not pass. The human psyche is very delicate and vulnerable. And that is why it happens that a person, falling into such a state of fading, remains in that traumatic situation, in that event, and in no way (for years!) Cannot thaw out, “die out”.
Such a traumatized person constantly returns in his thoughts to that moment of his fading, at the moment of the traumatic event. Constantly scrolls in his head - "and, if I …", or "and, if he …". So he lives in such a frozen state - in a state of rejection of himself and the whole world.
There is even such a term "trauma of the rejected."
She waited several years for him to return. In a frozen state.
She lay, covered with a blanket over her head, lay days, nights, did not want to eat or drink. She pulled her legs up to her chin and whimpered softly. From pain, from powerlessness and not understanding what happened. Tears-fools rolled down on the knotted lumps of the pillow, the heart became a stone - not to breathe.
Did you go over in your memory what actually happened or dreamed about?
What happened there? I don’t remember.
Only evening, wind, cold rain. And the fact that he did not talk to her as usual, but as the last time. She so wanted to think: as if at the last, as if for fun, that it was just that, some kind of absurdity and misunderstanding, they still have a lot of time - their whole life is ahead.
His barely audible: "Sorry", the slam of the night taxi door, and she was left alone in the middle of the glowing windows of houses, slanting rain, horror and grief overwhelmed with foreboding.
She had been waiting for a whole month, waiting for him, well, or at least for a call. So that - come, hugged, so huge, warm, smacked, as usual on the forehead: "Well, did you miss me?"
In vain she twitched, the phone was silent. She could not stand this emptiness, in her soul and in her thoughts - a complete failure, darkness and blackness filled her entire essence. And was it an entity?
Nothing of her old remained in her, something new sprouted - an awkward, ridiculous and awkward creature abandoned in the middle of the night with a dull, sore hole in her chest.
Parents, friends, girlfriends - no one understood her behavior, her frozen state: “Stop suffering! Just think! How many more will be ahead!"
And she did not have the strength and resources to start the mechanism of "digestion" of pain. While she was returning to that day, to that trauma, she tried to find a way out and a way that would help her get out of that fading. But, plunging and sinking into pain, it was impossible to thaw.
Until I got to see a specialist.
Together they were able to approach that frozen focus of tension, which strayed and coiled into a ball of anxiety and despair. They unraveled for a long time, along a thread, carefully treating the wounds. For the human psyche is so delicate and fragile.
Take care of yourself.
Author: Bondarovich Lyubov Pavlovna
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