2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I reread Claude Steiner. And I decided to summarize his ideas about Emotional Literacy.
This is in pursuit of Triangles and adaptations - to work on relationships
“Let's take a look at what emotional literacy education consists of. You can start learning emotional literacy by paying attention to any emotion, but over the years I have found that the most effective gateway through our emotional barriers is the nature of our love expression.
Emotional literacy training begins and ends in the heart
….
In couples (family) therapy, women often complain that men do not love them or do not love them enough (as they would like), that they do not express feelings of love, or that they gladly accept affection towards themselves, but do not can express it in relation to the partner. For the sake of fairness, it must be said that there are always a certain number of people who simply do not like their wives (or partners). But more often than not, men love them, but suffer from an inability to express their love. These people often wonder, after all, why they couldn't be more loving in their actions. Women are more likely to say this about men, but men may have the same complaint about women that they are cold and show no affection. This inability (to show love) is one example of emotional numbness.
When we talk about Emotional Numbness, we are not talking exclusively about men, although research shows that their emotional range is generally more limited. But no matter what gender is involved, the solution is the same: To loosen your heart from the shackles.
In a nutshell, the process behind this program consists of three steps in the learning process:
1. Heart opening: This is necessary because the heart is the virtual repository of our emotions. In our hearts, we feel good when we are happy, in love, or joy. It is in the heart that we feel bad when we are sad, when we are angry, and with a broken heart. So we need to start by freeing the center of our feelings from the restrictive impulses and influences that hold us back from showing love for one another.
2. Exploring the emotional landscape: Once the heart is open - the foundation is laid - you can look around and take note of the emotional landscape in which you live. You can only learn to recognize what you are feeling, how strong, and why. You are aware of the ebb and flow of your emotions. With a feeling of love in your heart as a safe base, you will pay attention to the emotions experienced by others and see how their feelings are influenced by your actions. You can develop empathy. In short, you have become more aware of your own feelings and the feelings of the people around you.
3. To take the responsibility: People make mistakes in their relationships, big and small. When you make a serious mistake, you must apologize and take responsibility for your actions. It is also understandable that you must make amends by correcting your behavior so that the mistake does not repeat itself. Very few people are emotionally experienced enough to apologize sincerely and without defensiveness.
Unfortunately, most people are reluctant to admit, even to themselves, that they have done something wrong. If they can admit it to themselves, they will have to face the fact that they may not be as they imagined themselves. However, many may ask for forgiveness for their actions freely and repeatedly, but never do anything to change their behavior, so their apologies are meaningless. By accepting responsibility for our actions and correcting our behavior, we pass the final stage of learning emotional literacy.
Energy
You may think that the process will drain you of energy. However, at the end of the day it will actually energize you. We waste tremendous reserves of emotional energy when we block the expression of our emotions. Whether it's covering up a “shameful” trauma so we don't embarrass ourselves, or blocking out painful memories, we waste a shocking amount of energy by driving our feelings underground and repressing them. By letting go of these feelings, we not only release the power of our emotions, but also give us energy back, the energy spent on holding back.
This is an exciting prospect, isn't it? But we must not rush and run ahead blindly; it is best to proceed in a deliberate and systematic manner. I will show you how to do this by clearly explaining the transactional exercises step by step.
Emotional literacy learning strategies
What does emotional literacy teach us? In particular, you will learn:
* How to find out what you want and how you feel; how to be truthful about your emotions; how to satisfy your emotional needs.
* How to manage your emotions; when to hold back and when to express your feelings.
* How to deal with emotional numbness or unnecessary shock.
* How to apply your knowledge of emotions at work, at home, at school, in social groups, and on the street to improve and deepen your relationships and forge long-term, honest connections with people.
* How to practice a love-centered approach to personal goals in a society that is moving in the direction of distrust, loneliness, anxiety and depression.
WHEN TO START
The stages of training are arranged in order of difficulty. You may find that you already have some skills from steps 3 or 4 and want to start with step 5. Or, you may feel confident in all 15, but need to practice your skills precisely. It will be helpful to understand all the components of emotional literacy before you can begin to practice it effectively.
The stages and operations of this process are like a roadmap to emotional transformation. Some of these operations will be familiar to you, some not. Some of them will seem easy, some extremely difficult. The operations at the beginning of the list are generally easier than those near the end.
So here are the deals and steps that will be covered in detail in the following chapters:
Emotional literacy; Training, Steps
0. Ask for permission.
Stage One: Opening the Heart
1. Giving Stroking
2. Asking for stroking
3. Take stroking
4. Reject stroking
5. Leave stroking to yourself
Stage Two: Exploring the Emotional Landscape
6. Ability to "recognize" and voice your Feelings arising in response to the actions of others
7. Ability to help "recognize" and voice the Feelings of other people that arise in response to your actions
8. Revealing our intuitive guesses about the actions or intentions of another person
9. Checking for the "reality" of intuitive guesses about the actions or intentions of another person
Stage three: responsibility
10 asking forgiveness for your mistakes
11. Accept others' apologies
12) reject others' apologies
13 asking others to apologize
14 giving an opportunity to apologize to others
15. Deny an opportunity to apologize
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