2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
What is sexuality?
This is a kind of innate human need, which is based on a combination of various physiological, psychological and social factors. How to define your own sexuality? Rather, it is an opportunity to have pleasure and enjoy intimacy, to be ready for it. And if problems arise in this area, they cause fear and despair in people, mainly because we know too little, are not sufficiently educated and grounded in such a sensitive topic. Despite the "sexual revolution", modern man is least ready to solve sexual problems. Let's try to figure out what they are and how to solve them.
Originally from childhood
It's no secret that most of our problems come from childhood. Sexuals are no exception. Well, it is not customary for us to openly discuss such issues with children, there are not enough pedagogical developments, there is no elementary knowledge base that we could pass on to children in an accessible form. Plus a strict legislative "sword" that punishes any attempt to involve children in sexual structures, one has only to go too far. If with the second - everything is more or less clear, these social standards are designed to protect children from violence, involvement in prostitution or pornography, then with the first the situation is much more complicated.
A growing up teenager simply has nowhere to get information about what to do with his own body; the only thing that is available to him is conversations with peers who themselves are not very competent in these matters. And when moments of first intimacy happen, they often go unsuccessfully, and if the situation repeats itself, then it can leave psychological trauma for life. It was at that time that the "stratification" of consciousness happens, the separation of the concepts of love and sex from each other. If the first is seen as a sublime feeling, then sex is already seen as something base, bad, subsequently, such double standards can be very interfering in life, if they are not eradicated in time.
The dangers of stress
Stress, that is, a grown-up state of tension, which is the body's defense, has a detrimental effect on a person if he does not know how to deal with it correctly - mood and immunity deteriorate, tension and anxiety arise. But stress can bring the most harm to the sexual sphere, and it does not matter - a man or a woman, everyone is equal in front of him.
With prolonged exposure to stress on the human body, he may have a dislike for any manifestation of initiative, he will try by all means to evade responsibility, at the same time, distancing himself from other people. This combination can destroy any desire, and the ever-increasing nervousness will completely reduce all sexual attempts to naught.
Sexual problems of men
The sexuality and potency of men very much depends on his mental state, and if something is wrong somewhere - at work, at home, in the shower - it will not slow down to affect the potency.
Sexual dysfunctions can occur for various reasons and differ significantly from each other. They can manifest themselves in the address of certain women or circumstances, while contacting other ladies and in a different setting, everything will be in order. Difficulties with potency can arise due to hostility to the object - unwillingness to enter into contact with it, even at a subconscious level, will result in real weakness in bed. It happens that difficulties in the sexual sphere in men are associated with insufficient temperament of the partner, or, on the contrary, with her hyperactivity - when there is no feeling “on the same wavelength”.
With increased emotional stress, fatigue, general loss of strength, impotence can also occur - and then even the usual stimulating factors - the wife's favorite underwear, massage, body odor, will not have an exciting effect, although earlier they were "turned on with half a turn."
What are the reasons for such failures? Let's consider a few. The earliest cause a man can face is called expectation neurosis. When, after a series of unsuccessful attempts, a man, as it were, programs himself that now he will always be unsuccessful in bed. Approaching sexual intercourse, he sets himself up in advance for failure, and he, as a result, does not keep himself waiting long.
Psychotrauma on sexual grounds - when, at the mere mention of sex, a situation arises in the head, extremely unpleasant, which once wounded and caused pain, naturally, this will not slow down to affect potency. Also, the reasons include hypochondria - excessive focus on yourself, your problems and failures, the more a man thinks about it, the worse the potency. An excessively low or high self-esteem leads to this, in both cases, one's own ego is more important than a partner.
Problems can also arise due to the excessive desire of the object, when the partner wants so much that he simply burns out, not having time to bring the matter to its logical conclusion. Because of her antipathy to her partner, and if she also allows herself insults, or is simply indifferent to the man, then there is no longer any talk of sex. And, of course, already voiced, stress and conflict between what a person thought, how he imagined the situation (laid down in childhood) and reality - this discrepancy can deeply traumatize, suppressing desire.
Sexual problems in women
For women, some of the problems are similar to those for men, but there are also a number of features. The most common are frigidity, anorgasmia, and vaginismus.
Frigidity (low level of excitability) - most often it is psychological in nature, and may be associated with psychological trauma, rejection of a partner, his rude actions, fear of getting pregnant, rape and other factors. But there is also physiological frigidity - which arises as a result of past diseases or a general deterioration in the state of the body.
Vaginismus - This is a phenomenon characterized by involuntary muscle spasms, during sexual contact or examination by a gynecologist. In this case, the reaction can occur, both from the direct attempt to enter the penis, and with only one imagination of sexual intercourse. The reasons for this phenomenon, again, are hidden in our head, and are the result of unpleasant closeness or incompetent actions of the doctor.
Anorgasmia - a phenomenon when a woman does not experience an orgasm as such. More often it is customary to talk about secondary anorgasmia, when you previously experienced an orgasm, and after a while stopped. And here the main reasons for the occurrence are psychological - the fear of contracting a venereal disease or getting pregnant, not liking a partner and being rejected by him, and many more factors that lie in our minds.
Summing up
As we can see, most sexual problems have psychological causes, and their solution depends on whether we can overcome difficulties, get rid of oppressive memories, raise self-esteem, cope with stress and stop being afraid. It is important to recognize the existence of problems in time and start solving them. It can be very difficult to do this without the help of a competent specialist, so there is no need to be afraid to seek help from a psychologist.
After all, do you want to enjoy intimacy, or do you choose to continue living alone with your problems?
It's up to you, of course, to decide, but why deprive yourself of one of the most pleasant joys - sexual satisfaction - voluntarily?
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