2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Auto-aggression or self-destruction can manifest itself in drunkenness, drug addiction, gambling addiction, smoking, a propensity for dangerous professions and sports, aggressive behavior, workaholism (work "for wear"), improper use of medicines, a tendency to various kinds of operations to "improve" one's appearance, risky sexual behavior, etc.
Auto-aggressive behavior (self-destructive, directed against oneself) inherent in all of us to one degree or another: we cut a finger with a knife, fall out of the blue, get into accidents - there is always a violation of psychological defense behind this, the causes of these violations lie in the subconscious and are based on genetic and social causes.
Formation and manifestation of various forms of self-destructive behavior meaningfully associated with certain parenting styles.
E. Larsen leads six categories of self-destructive behaviors adopted from childhood:
1) controllers - them self-esteem is based on how much they can do for the people around them, but do not know how to take care of themselves;
The people they control do not grow spiritually, but become dependent on them. They believe that they know better how others should live. Don't let others be who they are. They build relationships with problem people in order to assert themselves at their expense and look better against their background. Codependent relationships develop. The controller does not know how to trust people and God, and they themselves try to play the role of God in the lives of weak people.
2) pleasers - them self-esteem is based on not making anyone angry, they never state their needs and therefore are always in a state of emotional hunger; They want to be important, valuable in their environment, to anticipate the desires of other people. Their life motto is “Peace at any cost”. They care about the wants and needs of people without focusing on themselves. It is difficult for them to answer the question: "What do you personally like, or what do you love, what do you want, what are your desires?"
3) martyrs - they learned that to live is to suffer constantly, they get pain because this is the norm.
When the martyr is doing well, he feels uncomfortable. It is believed subconsciously that the more they suffer, the closer to God. They think that they humble themselves by suffering, but this is not true humility. The more we allow God to show us our heart, the more we are in the right position. Often martyrs come in contact with controllers, or may be of a mixed type. A martyr always needs to suffer, if this does not happen, these people often provoke scandals themselves, so that the suffering does not stop and intensify. Addictive behavior develops. In everything they see only the negative and the reason for suffering. Self-righteous, or vice versa, are in self-condemnation and scourging.
4) workaholics base their self-esteem on performance.
Completion is not their goal; constant movement is enough for them; The end result is not important for them, the main thing is the process. They do not know how to rest, feel guilty when they do nothing. Work is valued above relationships, others are considered lazy, everyone who works or serves less than them is annoying. Relationship with God - "The more I serve, the more I please God." Service is more important to them than God.
5) perfectionists - O again their self-esteem is unattainable, they evaluate everything based on an unreal ideal;
Their motto is: "Everything must be perfect!" Focus on the little things. Bugs-finding wizards. Everything must be flawless. They perceive their mistakes as a defeat. Focused on the faults of others. Their principle: "All or nothing!" Struck by the fear of failure. Sometimes they look like lazy or lack of initiative, because they only take on what they are 120% sure of. They are often overshadowed by fear of failure. For them, 99% of luck is not everything. Often their talent remains unrecognized. In relationships with people, they are dissatisfied and critical. They find it difficult to accept people as they are. Proud self-righteous in their accomplishments. These are the modern Pharisees who thank God that they are not like others.
6) tap dancers - base their self-esteem on being free.
They have learned to never get into close relationships. Their life motto is: "Be free!" Concentrated on freedom, do not build close relationships. They have many contacts, connections that help them feel significant, they do not understand that such close relationships are masters of half-truths, they don’t invest much in relationships, keep their distance, and are selfish. They build relationships only with those who allow them to maintain a distance in the relationship. The family also does not build close relationships, or do not tie the knot at all. It is difficult for them to come into contact with feelings. Often they proclaim a lot with a slogan, but do not have a close relationship with God.
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