Money Is Not The Problem

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

For the last month I have been living on the topic of money.

There was anxiety related to money, which was not there before. Decrease or lack of income - where to run, what to do?

Panic and anxiety.

Increasing income - faced with responsibility - what to plan, where to spend, how to dispose? And then, if I dispose of it incorrectly, I can lose everything.

Hello to people who do not start their successful projects for fear of failure. Fear of success - to get everything, a lot of responsibility, which I cannot cope with. I don’t know what to do about it. Or the fear of losing everything after success. Then it is better to initially have nothing and come up with various reasons why I have not yet become successful.

The next thing I faced was fear of running out of money … Ashamed of needing money. Anxiety and tension appear. And when there is tension, everything, on the contrary, falls out of hand, nothing happens. I doubt myself, my abilities and income is decreasing even more rapidly.

Such a funny swing at different levels of feelings, which is ashamed and scary to admit to yourself. Which are not very pleasant.

Relationships with money can be ignored for some part of your life until something happens that can knock you out of your usual state. Money has the same power as sex, power. They affect us - we can become happier, more anxious, tense, or vice versa, feel relaxed, allow a lot in our life. Money also affects relationships with people, friends, loved ones. This is strong energy. And the time has come for me to learn more about my relationship with money and how it affects the quality of my life.

And so that I was able to realize and understand with the help of internal analysis, psychotherapist, supervisor, work with colleagues and in practice with clients.

Beliefs - the first thing I started with. The accidentally spoken words of parents in childhood, children around, adults on TV - all this is firmly and steadily imprinted in my subconscious. Unbeknownst to me, these expressions have influenced my relationship with money. How I work, how I chose an activity, when choosing purchases or in everyday situations. Affects relationships with a partner or parents.

If this topic responds to you, I suggest reading my arguments and at the same time learning more about yourself. Answer questions in writing while exploring your beliefs.

1. Money in childhood. What did I know, heard about them then? What was that to me?

I have often heard from my parents that there is no money; - we cannot afford it; - they are rich, because ….., but we will not succeed; - it is very expensive; - money always runs out and needs to be saved. For me, then, money is something eternally difficult, elusive, but at the same time vital. That you can't live without them.

2. How did these words and thoughts affect me then?

Money is something inaccessible, not for everyone, not for me. It is a shame that there was no money, especially in front of those who had it. I am ashamed to show that my family and I need money and cannot afford much. There is a lot of misunderstanding, helplessness next to anxious parents and childhood experiences in this regard.

3. How does this affect me now?

An internal previously unconscious need for money, even if there is abundance. Prohibition or impossibility to spend money freely and easily. I always think about - is it necessary, what will it give me, what is this purchase for? Fear that money may run out, that it will not. Therefore, they must always be controlled, thought ahead, postponed so that fears do not come true. Of course, here I feel a lot of anxiety, tension and fear. And control helps me to cope with anxiety, but does not solve the issue of statements and relationships with money.

4. What is my current relationship with money?

From the above I can write - there is a lot of tension and anxiety regarding money, which sometimes makes it difficult to just relax and not think about it. There is a belief that money is needed all the time. I often limit myself in spending on myself. Because of the issue of money and shame, I can give up my boundaries and give the last. Or, on the contrary, to defend yourself too much.

5. Is there a gap - how much I earn now with how much I really want?

There is a gap and not in my favor. Why - again I meet with shame. I am ashamed to say more for my services, automatically I am needy and that my childish shame was not experienced in this place. Another phrase pops up - do I deserve it? As if not.

And I remember my mother: - you won't get it, because you didn't deserve it. Nobody explained how to deserve, but the phrase remained deep in the subconscious and leads.

6. What is the point in earning more, what does this amount mean to me?

This means that I can allow myself to live more and more freely, and relate to purchases more easily. Move more freely. The value of my work will be greater.

7. What beliefs do I need to get rid of so that they no longer affect my relationship with money? What beliefs do I need to change and how to allow myself to receive the amount I want?

I wrote on paper everything that bothers me. All the beliefs I've heard that don't belong to me. Imposed from the outside. Realized them. I replaced them with new ones and worked with a therapist. When you share with someone, saying your intentions out loud is like registering thoughts and beliefs, they start to work.

If you do not have a therapist and the method of self-hypnosis and affirmations suits you, you can write and program yourself.

What we give meaning works and happens.

Another thing I did in therapy was faced with the fact that money = heaviness. That in adulthood there is even some kind of suffering about this and that it is important to go forward in suffering. I also took risks and fantasized, imagined my strongest fear and tried to feel it.

What if I suddenly lose my ability to earn money, think and adapt to different living conditions. I'll just be left with nothing and no one.

I imagined myself in multilayered dirty clothes, stinking, walking and begging or digging through the trash. As in this form I meet my former colleagues and friends. I am ashamed of myself. I feel sorry for myself. I fantasized and suffered about myself like that. About my social and human no one and nothing, what I will feel there, what I want. The only joy there, and that is in question, that I am still alive and still human. I can still do something. There was so much protest inside me about these fantasies about myself.

Gradually I got out of this picture. I regained my mind, upbringing, principles, the ability to do, think, create. I grew stronger inside and became more and more confident. I will never allow this to happen to me. I can always do more and better. I will try not to stop developing. Relax, recover, rejoice and live. And I felt so good, just felt better. Then I returned to myself now and realized that, in general, everything is wonderful in my life. And the easier I relate to myself and money, the easier it is for me to live and the easier it comes. When this unnecessary stress passes away.

I remembered when I strain - not only everything can fall out of hand, but everything runs away, including money.

If you dare to paint and fantasize over your scary picture, write to me in messages about your experience, very interesting.

Bonus

My anxiety, which is associated with spending and desires. I found a way to deal with her.

She traced two pillars on a sheet of paper. On the left, I wrote down all my expenses and expenses for the last month, including, just for little things - coffee, water.

In the next column I wrote income from various sources.

I compared and realized that there is more income. Fuh, it's already easier.

Next: I wrote down the obligatory and necessary expenses for the next month - house, utilities, Internet, water, food, and so on. (You can have your own list.)

Here, too, the anxiety has become less - after all, I can always earn such a sum even with a very poor state of affairs.

Then the planning of additional expenses: for example, I really wanted to buy myself a trx - this is a sports simulator, but I always put it off. I wanted to go somewhere or buy something; I postponed training courses. I thought I couldn't pay. However, having counted the expenses for the previous month, I realized that I can go to cafes less often, eat at home more often. For example, minus 4 dinners in a cafe per month = simulator, trip. Etc.

That is, I have planned expenses that I have long postponed for the next months. What I really want is I can afford. Simply by correctly distributing the budget. There are also applications for the phone that help to record expenses and income.

During the period of research on this topic, I realized my old and unnecessary beliefs, worked them out and replaced them with new ones. I met my fears and lived my feelings with the support of a psychotherapist. Exercise helped me reduce anxiety and tension, change my attitude towards money, and become a little happier and freer.