2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
1) Self-compassion is not lying to yourself
In fact, this is completely different. It means identifying yourself and looking at yourself from the outside: a broad and inclusive view that does not deny reality, recognizes problems and failures as part of humanity. In one study, people took part in fake interviews in which researchers were asked to describe their main weaknesses. People with great self-compassion did not play down their weaknesses more than others. But they felt much less excitement and threat during the study.
Self-compassion is not in the least like deceiving yourself. You really can't empathize with yourself until you figure out the truth about yourself and your feelings. And when there is no empathy, we resort to false bravado and fierce self-confidence, trying to deny the possibility of failure. When empathy is lacking, we see the world as unforgiving as we are. And therefore, the very thought of defeat is damaging.
2) Self-compassion does not make a person weak or lazy
There is a misconception that you have to be tougher towards yourself in order to maintain your position. But people are more likely to accept their failures, in fact, they may be more motivated to improve. Compassionate people have the same high purpose as self-critical people. The difference is that the former do not lose ground when they fail to achieve their goal.
Self-compassion can even strengthen you in your position. It has to do with healthy behaviors: eating right, exercising, sleeping well, and managing stress during tough times when you need to take care of yourself the most. It strengthens the immune system, helps to avoid getting sick, and promotes social connections and positive emotions.
In the consumer environment, advertising sustains our dissatisfaction with ourselves so that we want to buy something, whether we need it or not. Self-acceptance and self-compassion do not promote turnover. Therefore, we are strongly encouraged to compare ourselves with others, so that as a result of this we lack something.
Self-acceptance becomes critical every time we start comparing ourselves to others. Comparing yourself to others is a losing game. Someone will always have a better car, house, figure. The advice is simple, from the point of view of emotional agility - watch yourself. This is especially important when you want to compare yourself to someone outside your league.
Peeping at someone whose accomplishments are one or two higher can be inspiring. But comparing yourself to a real superstar or an exceptional genius can ruin you. This is partly because we focus on the end result rather than what is needed to achieve it. Would you like to put in the same amount of time and effort to achieve this result? And is it worth it?
You need to be yourself, not desperate to be someone else's miniature copy. Empathy for yourself will help you a lot in this.
To be continued…
The article appeared thanks to the book "Emotional Agility" by Susan David
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