2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Probably, each of us has met people in our life, to whom you can always turn for help, such people really know how and how they can help another, often they themselves strive to offer their help. But the paradox is that it is these people who find it most difficult to ask others for something, if they need it. In general, an appeal or a request for help, especially if it is addressed to an unfamiliar person, causes many not entirely pleasant experiences for some people. Why is it so difficult to ask? Even if the request is quite appropriate, not everyone can easily turn to his neighbor. There are several, in my opinion, reasons, let's try to understand them.
The first reason can reasonably be considered the upbringing that a person received in childhood. When a child is instilled in childhood with the idea that no one owes him anything in life, and they do it with pressure and even a certain amount of aggression, then a stereotype is formed that in life he should do everything exclusively on his own, not resorting to the help of others. Accordingly, it seems somehow wrong to ask others about something. Or, when a child asks his parents for something, but every time he gets a refusal, and this is repeated constantly, and the situations may be different, he realizes that it is simply useless to ask, it doesn't matter: they won't give, they won't buy, they won't allow, they won't will allow. The consequences of such upbringing in adulthood make a person unable to ask others for something, because he will think that it is pointless.
The next point, for some, to ask this means to show their weakness. If a person lives with the thought that he is very strong, successful, he himself gladly offers help, but he does this in order to feel and show his power and strength even more. Often, such people demonstrate to others that they have the best. Pride makes it impossible for them to make a request to someone. For them, it seems like something that can destroy the area that they themselves have created. But it is not possible to live without the participation of others, and therefore if it is impossible to ask, such people begin to demand. Provided that they do not get what they want, they are offended. The situation can get to the point that a person comes to an inner (false) belief that others should guess what he needs. It is very difficult to communicate with such people.
Not the most common reason people are reluctant to ask for something from others is because they are simply afraid to become indebted. “If I ask and they help me, then I will also have to do something” - this is how such a person argues, but there is also a simple, human gratitude. Even if the one who helped you yesterday turns to you tomorrow for help, this is normal, this is part of human relations (of course, if we are not talking about violating the Criminal Code).
Asking is essentially the easiest way to get something, because if you do it (ask) without pressure and explaining the reasons, then in more than 90% of cases a person gets the desired result. In addition, ask for it and show the other that you need him and is important to you. This is especially true in family relationships at a time when communication is already reduced to simple functioning or expressing personal opinions. For example, it will be more pleasant for a partner to hear "Meet me from work today, please" instead of "I need to be met from work today"
Perhaps one of the most important features of a request is gratitude, which must be expressed to the person who helped.
Live with joy! Anton Chernykh.
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