Confession Of The "Trash Bin"

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Hello, I'm Trash Bin!

I can be both male and female. I may be 1 year old or even 35 years old or more, age still does not play any role here. Inside, I still don’t understand how much I am, nor what I really feel, nor where and why I am in such a role. And all because I am full of the waste of others and I have no time to think about myself.

I may not remember when I suddenly turned into a "trash can". Sometimes it seems that it has always been this way. The family in which I grew up (-la) often "poured" their slops on me … negative feelings, resentment, responsibility for what was happening. Mom or dad, and sometimes they together, made me guilty by throwing each other in a quarrel, throwing off screams, tears, accusations. It also happened that they were looking for something, and not finding anything better they decided to "dump" everything on me, a boy or a girl, who instantly became a "family bucket". And then I stood for a long time overflowing with waste, which over time began to decompose in me, exhausting a completely "wonderful" smell, in the form of aggression, pain, depression, passivity, tears and ….. (you can continue yourself) …

Sometimes they changed my garbage bag, but they did it rarely, carelessly, and the previously decomposed products, which had once remained at the bottom, fell into the very soul. Having settled there for a long time. Yes, yes, it’s hard to believe, but I have a soul that is filled with pain, fears, insecurity and insecurity. Don't just live and see what is happening around. And it is doubly painful to understand (someone understands and remembers this experience with his head, someone fixes it at the level of the body: for example, with clamps) that the entire family system has rotted long ago, and without you. However, while you are small, helpless (both because of your biological age and because of your psychological age), the main drain is directed at you.

And what to do about it?

Looking for a way out, I acted (s) in different ways (using different strategies for survival):

- turned into a zinc bucket. The main attitude of which was: "I will not break, I will not break, I will take everything" (do not feel, do not express, endure). The consequences were in the form of rust, holes and complete uselessness in further use;

- pretended to be a beautiful basket for office papers, so it seemed to me that in "such beauty, they would not dare to drain the slop." However, as the experience of the mergers has shown, this does not stop. Others did not care who I want to appear, as long as there is where to drain, as long as there is consent (albeit silent) to drain - the action passed;

- thought he was the "King of the trash heap". And how else can you defend yourself, if not by the conviction that "Everything is super! Once they are pouring into me, then I am special, chosen" and sacredly believe (and sometimes all my life) that "If it were not for these plums, I would not have grown (-la) such a wonderful person. " It was the slops that made me more resilient, stronger and not susceptible to stressful situations.

…and others….

Time goes by, children grow up, create their own families, give birth to children in them and the roles change … from the once "Trash can" to … and many others … until it comes, if he wants to, of course, to an important, once lost identification "Be yourself" … No other people's garbage, slops and rare bags.