Overcompensation In Sex

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-12 20:57

Overcompensation is a psychological defense that helps a person to cope with a traumatic situation.

With the help of hypercompensation, a person tries to hide or level out his imaginary or real shortcomings, showing super-efforts in another area subject to his control, or demonstrating behavior that is completely opposite to his inner feeling.

So, for example, a man of small stature will like tall women, and a man who is overwhelmed with complexes will behave, on the contrary, very dismissive and arrogant.

Self-aggrandizement - one of the schemes for the manifestation of hypercompensatory protection.

This type of defense is more typical for narcissistic, hysterical, antisocial psychotypes.

One of the types of self-aggrandizement in sex I called "the moralist in the mud."

A person with this coping loves to conduct righteous reasoning, to expose vice, but at the same time, he is irresistibly drawn to antisocial personalities or people with reduced social responsibility.

For example, a man categorically condemns antisocial, immoral manifestations, looks very correct, respectable, but he is attracted like a magnet to "hang out" in the company of drug addicts, "remove" a prostitute who will also have alcohol or drug addiction, sleep with a married woman, and then sex to start a conversation with her, as she came to such a life. Sex may not even play a decisive role, because this man will see his role in provocativeness and hidden devaluation of those whose vices he condemns or even talks about them with barely concealed disgust.

This behavior speaks of a person's fear / desire to plunge into vice himself, but he does not accept this fear, trying to control it through observation from the outside and moralization.

A moralizer can even marry a prostitute or alcoholic in order to continue to devalue her, mock her morally, and maybe even physically.

Girls, women can also be drawn to communicate with men who have any kind of addiction, but rather passive than aggressive, in order to be able to humiliate them without the risk of a response.

Such a wife, for example, will not want to cure her alcoholic husband, but will enjoy watching his moral and physical decay, lecturing him, in fact, leading to suicide.

The devaluation of such men, the feeling of their power over them, even arouses a woman with a coping of self-aggrandizement. She can verbally "put down" her husband, telling him with contempt: "What, got drunk like a pig again, look what you look like, a real nonentity!" An alcoholic, wishing to atone for his guilt, will crawl on his knees in front of her, begging for forgiveness and money for a bottle, which she will of course give him with the words "so you die!"

Such a woman will seduce married men, and then ask how they feel, cheating on their wife. If she is much younger than a married man and he has children, she can tell him that he looks like her father, thus, all the time trying to play on the strings of his conscience, making him feel guilty, flawed, and complex.

Another moralist may indeed have a salvation motive. In doing so, he will also act in a spirit of "self-aggrandizement", experiencing narcissistic pride and a sense of power over the object of his "salvation."

I called the second coping of overcompensation "the naughty child"

With this coping, a man or a woman in sex plays the role of a capricious child: before sex, they can "be capricious", stimulating a partner to deserve something close to them (gifts, complaisant behavior, persuasion) or during sex to express dissatisfaction. Even if everything was great, the coping partner will have "self-aggrandize" all the time on his face and in his voice there will be a note of melancholy and discontent.

The third coping of "self-aggrandizement" is "sexual dominant"

Such a partner gains self-affirmation by playing a dominant role in sex, often associated with humiliating the partner / partner and causing physical pain.

I called the fourth coping "the doubting narcissist"

Such a person all the time needs confirmation from others that he is beautiful, in constant admiration. For example, a man constantly during sex asks a woman for confirmation that he is the best and he has the largest member of all those with whom she had to deal with before meeting him.

Fifth coping "eternal Casanova"

Such a man is used to changing women like gloves and being proud of it. He is interested in this process not so much sex as a sense of power and control. It can also be a woman seducing men and leaving them behind.

She says: "I'm not interested in sex itself. I like to seduce a man more. Then I leave him, because I don't need him."

Sixth coping "Comparison lover"

Such a person will always compare his partner with a certain standard from the past, present, or with some idealized image of a beautiful lady or knight.

Seventh coping "Sexual manipulator"

Such a person usually uses sex for subsequent manipulation and blackmail. He likes to keep people in a victim state. For example, a man can persuade a woman to commit various lecherous acts, and then threaten to show compromising videos or photos to her family members.

The behavior of such a person is based on defectiveness, shame, a feeling of a vulnerable, lonely, angry child who seeks to compensate for his insignificance with powerful, aggressive and manipulative behavior, endlessly entering into a destructive confrontation with his imaginary devaluing mother.