Defense Mechanism "Positive Thinking"

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

When you come across an article with a similar title, you want to read in it about the exposure of another trainer with a feigned smile, make sure you are right, and thereby spin the excrement in the fan.

However, if you approach the issue objectively, with an open mind, ready for any conclusion, it becomes possible to discover when a positive focus works and when it does not

Concentration on positive thoughts … Well, what could be wrong with that? Nevertheless, it is incredibly difficult to get accustomed to positive thinking in the vastness of our country. It is difficult to focus on the positive, when your dad is an alcoholic, finding a job by vocation is unbearably difficult, and as a child you are instilled with the idea of the nobility of poverty and the depravity of money.

Positive thinking finds opponents because it feels insincere, unnatural. There are so many conflicts inside modern man - including those from a series of "money corruption" that were unconsciously attached to our child's self in the soul - that it does not seem reasonable to deliberately create another conflict in an adult state.

And the man of our time can be understood

From a psychologist's point of view, the statement “Think positively and everything will work out” sounds superficial and unconvincing. For many years, representatives of our profession have been looking for a way to teach a person to resolve tormenting dilemmas and find ways to happiness. I believe that in order to find the most effective personal growth technique that will work for your particular situation, you need to understand:

there are temporary solutions, but there are permanent ones

For most of us, focusing on positive thoughts is an attempt to escape from harsh reality, protect our psyche from unpleasant manifestations of the outside world and settle in a warm bubble of generated love and tranquility.

This desire is understandable and close to each of us. We want comfort because the nature of the world is dual. The knowledge of discomfort always precedes the knowledge of comfort. Do not blame yourself or another person for forcing positive thinking out of himself in an attempt to become successful, cheerful, happy!

Negative reactions seem natural because we practice cultivating them on a daily basis. Positive thinking, on the other hand, is ephemeral and requires effort. With all our gut we feel resistance to positive thoughts, no matter how convincingly we try to impose them on ourselves: forcing ourselves to think positively when something goes wrong is like convincing ourselves that the sun is shining on the street when it just hit after midnight, and trying to read when off light.

In the flow of information it is necessary to learn to distinguish between the defense mechanisms that are presented to us under the guise of quick solutions, and the techniques that can switch the lever deeply lost in us. Recent techniques, such as deeply working out emotions and integrating them, often involve painful work with trauma and the conditions that they generate, which we try to avoid - so this work is not very desirable and can be insanely difficult.

How do you learn to separate “happiness injections” from techniques that lead to powerful inner shifts?

Today, everyone, regardless of their upbringing, needs deep, thorough inner work: the modern unconscious society praises individualism and overshadows the importance of unity with another person. But the attitude “I am responsible for everything myself”, if we are to be extremely honest, is the same protective mechanism: we come across people who reject us every now and then. How great it would be to convince ourselves that we can exist independently of others, that we ourselves are forging our own happiness. What a comfortable, soothing position!

Consider a few signs superficial, quick decisions:

1. Quick fixes do not solve the problem

The problem keeps popping up. The solution has to be applied to the problem every time it arises.

It is important to note here that unlike methods that can heal the root of the problem, quick fixes are a sedative pill and do not have a cumulative effect.

2. You feel that by applying a principle, you are contradicting your own nature

Here I would very much like to mention the "Vedic woman" and naked walks in order to "liberate".

Your emotions are beacons. Emotions show us which direction we are heading. A person who has established a dialogue with his emotions and made friends with them trusts himself and is guided by this trust. If you would like to learn more about making friends with emotions, see my article, Making Friends with Emotions.

Most of us are completely out of touch with our emotions. We perceive our feelings as an uncontrollable sabotage of a happy life. Therefore, it is difficult to use emotions as a compass until a person has done serious psychological work in an adult state to accept and integrate their emotions.

3. Quick solutions = defense mechanisms

Quick fixes are a light filter that we put on the lens to see the situation in a new light. It is worth removing this filter - and the previous colors return to the field of perception of our lens in full.

Does a positive focus ever work?

A positive focus only works if it is a product of the inner work, not its foundation. “Pretend until you get it” (the famous English slogan Fake it till you make it, which calls for acting confidently for the sake of gaining true confidence) is quite a reasonable method of gaining success, acting through programming your own mind and using a new “prism”. However, applying it indiscriminately, hoping that it itself will give you a new life - an illusion. The other side of it is the feeling that you are a copy, that you are not sincere with yourself; as if you are betraying yourself for the sake of achieving some socially privileged standard.

Positive focus, or positive thinking, is an excellent reinforcement mechanism for the core practice that can enhance the quality of the practice.

However, one should not think that positive thinking alone is enough to solve deeply disturbing problems in life.

Here is a short list of areas of inner work that can rebuild the shaky foundation on which most of us rest:

• Independent work with the inner child;
• Study of injuries;
• Keeping a log of questions, answers and internal observations;
• Mindfulness practice;
• Recognizing all your emotions without exception, being truthful about your true emotions and feelings, searching for your unique voice and desires in this world;
• Improving understanding of healthy relationships with other people;
• Relaxation of the body and relaxation of the mind.

The above methods of restoring a healthy psyche have many sub-techniques. Most of them can (and should!) Be applied simultaneously to obtain the most stable result. For example, work with the inner child can be done through the visualization of the traumatic experience followed by the integration of the emotion (Teal Swan's pain-body method).

Leo Gura, founder of the Smart Self-Development Youtube channel Actualized.org, explains in detail how to keep a log of observations and practice mindfulness.

Wonderful body-oriented techniques, the purpose of which is to relax and restart the energy flows in the body, are offered by tai chi masters. Meridian massage is a great helper in this matter.

Finally, I would like to draw the reader's attention to the fact that self-development requires an integrated approach. Since man is a collecting system of myriad aspects, the development of all these aspects must occur in a balanced manner.

If you find it difficult to be spontaneous, give yourself up to cultivating self-discipline. As an experiment, create a schedule in which you agree with yourself that you will devote some time each day to the practice planned for that day.

If you feel like you are in sync with your inner compass, keep listening to it and dedicating time to the right techniques as you progress in life.

The techniques are always the same, the method of execution is individual

All true, working techniques aimed at self-development help a person to find:

understanding your uniqueness and reorganizing life in accordance with it;

reduced anxiety;

acceptance of life as it is (paradoxically, but it is acceptance that leads to development faster than any other method that implies rolled up sleeves and inhuman zeal);

calm, confident action wherever you are;

synchronization with an internal compass: development of intuition, trust in life and in oneself.

If you feel that the techniques you are using are helping you achieve the above results, with or without consciously switching to positive thoughts, let me reassure you: you are on the right track!

Positive thinking emerges by itself as a wonderful additional effect of deep work on oneself. Don't force yourself with it! If you want happiness, try to dig as deep as possible - even if it hurts. Consciously lived suffering will not last forever. Dawn always comes after a dark night.

Lilia Cardenas, integral psychologist, psychotherapist