2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
"I couldn't live a year without attachment."
Being married to the theater-goer Kukin, Olenka believed that the most necessary thing in the world was theater. She said about herself: “Vanya and I”.
After the sudden death of her husband, she was terribly killed.
And after 3 months she met a respectable merchant, whom she soon married.
She thought with the same thoughts as her husband. Imitated in the manner of speech. Now she was convinced that the most important thing was the forest. And she said: "What's good in theaters?"
6 months after the death of her second husband, she began repeating the words of the guest veterinarian about the importance of animal health.
After his departure, Olenka plunged into emptiness - she thought nothing, had no opinion of her own: what Mavra the cook said was good.
She needs another person next to her so that the emptiness in her thoughts ends.
Having made up with his wife, the veterinarian Smirnin returned.
Olenka, with joy, provided the family with her own house without payment, and she herself moved to the outbuilding that stood nearby.
Seeing the little son of a veterinarian, I became attached to him with all my heart, as if to my own. In her unprecedentedly flared up maternal feeling for this nice boy with dimples on his cheeks.
And the woman's conversations were now about gymnasium and education, teachers and lessons.
Is the history similar to the modern one? But this story called "Darling" Chekhov wrote in 1898.
Why be alone?
To stop living someone else's life and fulfill someone else's will
In our country, they quickly acquire their own family and jump into it from the parental nest. This is helped by the introject: “Already 20 years old, and not yet married” and public opinion.
Often immature, young people develop emotionally codependent relationships. When a person depends on the mood, views and behavior of another person. In this destructive connection, there are no separate individuals, only "we".
Imagine, in a family, a husband is a rapist, alcoholic, drug addict. The wife is the victim. Each masterfully "performs" his own part and … suffers brutally.
Suddenly, the husband decides to stop the endless circle of suffering. He wants to understand who he is, if you take it separately. After all, I came here separately, as the esotericists say, with a clear task and mission. But first, it is important to understand WHO came. Who am I? What am I? What I like? What is not? What and who fits, and who destroys my life and destiny. Mature questions related to the level of Identity, which cannot be answered in a crowd and in a draft. For this, the period of the monad is necessary, in translation "mono" - one.
Only after finding oneself - Identity is realized. And a healthy relationship of closeness and affection is built with the Other person.
How is this alignment?
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