Life Is Like A Thriller

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I watched another psychological thriller ("The Invisible Man" 2020), and I was triggered. Probably, it is very difficult for someone who has never been in a similar situation to understand that this is not grotesque. This is the purest truth. An excellently filmed movie about that terrifying reality that is not visible.

It's like a shortage of ventilators - until it came to a pandemic, few people really understood the needs of people with cystic fibrosis. Domestic violence has long turned into an epidemic, but society still refuses to admit that it is happening in earnest and not somewhere in the world, but in your own backyard.

Abuse has many faces. This is domestic violence - when they beat them so that there are no bruises, and if they do, you are # self-guilty, because you provoked. Gaslighting - when it “seemed”, “turned itself on”, “what are you inventing?” - and as a result, you don’t believe yourself, because it’s gladiolus. Fear - when he hasn't said anything yet, and your hands are already trembling, the sound of the key in the door triggers a panic attack, and uneven toasted toast can cost your life. Emotional abuse - when you wake up feeling like you are nothing who does not deserve to live. Passive aggression - when all friends know that he is perfect, and you are a radiant fucker who does not value your happiness.

The list is endless. On the one hand, everyone has his own, and on the other, the victims of the abuse easily recognize each other in the crowd - by the haunted gaze behind sunglasses, by the fingers nervously pulling at the strap of the purse, by the trembling shoulders. Tyrants often choose beautiful and successful ones - not so interesting with the poor, young and inexperienced - they do not know what to expect, and they can be forced into control under the guise of caring, smart and strong - it is interesting to break such people, squeezing the will out of them drop by drop.

For those who have not been in a similar situation (and thank God!), It is difficult to understand "why the victim does not leave." She is accused of secondary benefits and laziness, unwillingness to change something and take responsibility for herself. They say that she is so comfortable, but "it would be bad, I would find a way out." And few people understand that the victim often lacks the strength not only to leave, but even to realize what is happening. This is like after suffocation - the first thought is to just gasp for air to start breathing again.

The abuser (I will not label the diagnosis - it doesn’t matter) does not only exhaust the victim physically. He sucks it out emotionally, but not to the bottom - leaving just enough so that he does not die. He needs a live mouse. After all, the right toy is an expensive pleasure. A lot of effort and money has been invested in it. The victim is treated for a long time, bringing to the desired condition: they enchant, sweep off her feet, surround with total “care”, isolate from society and relatives, subdue morally, break, confuse - harassing with emotional swings from the series “come here - come from here, look at me - don't you dare turn away. In fact, after such processing, it is perceived by the abuser as personal property. He, as a true creator, created an ideal out of an ordinary woman, and a stupid woman cannot remember simple rules and correspond to them. He, like a caring master, teaches this doll to walk correctly, speak beautifully, dress stylishly and think according to a given algorithm. He makes it better, and this fool is constantly slipping to the basic settings and sabotaging. And note - he does not give up, he is patient, he continues to tinker with her, give gifts, have sex. And yes, sometimes she has to be punished - for her own good. But the tyrant needs just a little - unconditional love and complete submission. Is it that hard?

This is approximately how it looks in the head of the abuser. And you know what's the worst thing? He truly believes it. And if the victim dares to run away, she will be severely punished. Well, if suddenly your leg or hand decides to leave you, won't you get angry? No, they usually don't kill for it - at least not right away - it's part of it, forget? At first, the attempt to leave is perceived as a whim and even slightly arousing. Then, if the victim does manage to sneak away, it is classified as treason. Returning at any cost is a matter of "honor". The abuser is simply obliged to win - after all, his self-esteem depends on it. If he is outplayed, stalking begins. Someone is hiding, waiting and taking revenge. Someone uses all possible tricks to regain control over the victim. The scenarios are different, but always equally dangerous. And sometimes the path chosen by the heroine of the film is really the only way to free herself. At least until society realizes that this pandemic has seized it for a long time, and begins to resolve the issue at the legislative and executive levels. Not for the sake of "others", but for their own sake - after all, no one knows who will be the next mouse.