How To Understand A Child And Find A Common Language With Him

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

We learn about the child, what is important for him and what he values, watching him, his play, communication, behavior. But the most important thing is hidden from us, this is his inner world, his feelings and experiences. How do the events that take place affect the child, what conclusions does he draw from them about life and about himself? What does he feel, what is bothering him? If we ask, then most likely he will not answer. And not at all because he wants to hide something from us, but because it is difficult for him to describe it in words, he has not yet learned to reason about his feelings, he still hardly recognizes and designates them. It is all the more difficult for him to explain the reasons for his impulses and actions. Not every adult can do this, let alone a child.

And in such cases, metaphorical cards come to our aid. They are interesting for adults, and there is no need to talk about children…. the variety of colorful pictures attracts the child, he looks at them with pleasure and will gladly tell you a "fairy tale" about the hero of the picture, come up with a story of his exploits, difficulties and griefs. Children love fairy tales and understand them, because they think in images better than in words. It is with the help of figurative language that you can communicate with your child at a very deep level. In addition, the very fact of communication in the language of a child, the language of a fairy tale, is already therapeutic. In addition, you will find an amazing world of co-creation that overcomes all obstacles, it helps in communication as an adult with a child, and a child among peers.

The trick is that you can start telling the child a fairy tale, in which the same characters as in your family - mom, dad, children … someone else, whom you can add yourself. And then invite the child to continue the story … ask questions along the way for detailing - what kind of mother? Does she work or not? Who does she work? Etc. Practice asking questions, this will make you a real specialist in the field of psychotherapy and develop your creativity, because it is necessary not only to tell a fairy tale, but to modify it on the fly and continue the plot in the direction chosen by the child.

If you get stuck somewhere, the question "what happened next?"

But important points should be taken into account: your child should not feel that you are trying to find out something from him and do not comment on the child's story. For the game, if the child does not mind, you can invite the child to record his fairy tale on a dictaphone as a variant of his first artistic tests, so that later there would be an opportunity to listen to it if desired.

Pay attention to how the child tells the tale - whether he is worried, interrupts, jumps, answers hastily, lowers his voice, blushes, turns pale, the tale has no end, or everything in the tale ends badly, or maybe refuses to answer the question at all - all this can point out the problems of the inner state of the child. If this happens, be sure to take the initiative and finish the story with a happy ending … there should always be a "happy end" in working with a child

My best wishes for you today and forever! Let your children smile and happiness will be in your home!