About Aggression

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I really liked this picture, I thought "I want to post it." But what can you write to her about? What topic?..

And I remembered that I had long wanted to speculate about our aggressive nature.

The leopard can hardly be called a "kind animal". He is a predator, he kills and eats other animals. Does this mean that he is "bad" or "evil"? And if not "bad" and not "evil", then which one? How to evaluate it?

Aggression is an unconditional part of this world.

Moreover, some argue that there is no human without aggression. Virtually any action, any of our acts, in essence, is aggressive. "Without aggression, it is impossible to even insert a spoon into the porridge." We breathe (take oxygen), walk (on a path or on a grass - how many cockroach insects inadvertently flatten?), Call on the phone (disturb the peace of another person), generally keep quiet about food and sex, a continuous act of aggression.

And at the same time, people often find it difficult to recognize aggressiveness in themselves. Aggression in feelings. Aggression in action.

Often aggressive behavior, for example, expressing disagreement, is condemned and suppressed in the behavior of children: the whole spectrum of aggressiveness is reduced to the concept of "anger" and is prohibited: "It is bad to be angry." "You can't get angry." But man is a resourceful and adaptable creature. And the children …

If it is dangerous to show your aggression in feelings directly - to express dissatisfaction, irritation, anger - there are ways to do this "imperceptibly" through actions: to ignore and become "deaf" to what you want to push away from yourself; silently leave, interrupt communication when you want to be indignant and express your disagreement; give unsolicited advice under the guise of caring when you want to get something for yourself.

So an adult grows up with prohibitions on his anger and the skills to avoid these prohibitions without realizing.

Aggression remains aggression even if you try your best to pretend it's not there. And, even hidden, affects the relationship. Moreover, it has a very strong effect.

That is why it is so important to be aware of the presence of aggression in oneself, as a vital energy. And admit.

And to know and recognize in oneself its types and manifestations. And be aware of the causes of activation and the needs behind it.

And learn to deal with all this environmentally.

And in feelings.

And in action.

To deal with aggression in an environmentally friendly way, it is important to distinguish between three types of its manifestation:

- aggression within oneself, as an emotional response to some event, for example, experiencing an emotion of irritation, anger or anger, - aggression - as an incentive to action, a desire to do something in order to express your emotion (so far only desire, no action)

- and aggression, expressed in a specific action.

What I feel is my emotion. It appears as a response to a life situation. At this point, a person has NO choice - emotions arise against our will. ⠀

What I start to want to do as a result of the emotion that has arisen is a motivation for action. This is the point at which a person has options and choices - how exactly to unfold his aggressive message and whether to unfold it at all. ⠀

And what I DO under the influence of aggressive impulses is the final, the concrete action. I hit someone or myself (physically, mentally, or self-destructively). I express my attitude, indignation or request about what happened. Or I use some other option.

The second thing that is important to distinguish - is aggression is constructive or destructive? This is a subjective perception, for what can be destruction for one person, creation for another, and vice versa.

For example, when the destruction of the relationship, leaving the couple, for one partner - the loss of control over the relationship and the person, and for the other - gaining freedom from them.

Another example of constructive aggression is anger that someone is achieving better results if this anger gives the person the strength and motivation to make efforts towards the fulfillment of his desire. But the same aggression becomes destructive if a person directs it to destroy someone else's success or to self-flagellation and criticism of himself.

If you become interested and want to understand your types of aggression and variants of its manifestation and expression, come to psychotherapy.