2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
For a year now, it has been stable, quiet, good and light at heart.. even despite all sorts of "non-distractions" of real life, in general, it is stable good, comfortable.. and my quiet everyday joy is with me …)) be with me, my joy.)
It's even somehow strange … After all, "life is pain" was said by my mother, and "a woman's share is a share".. and "men are cattle" … lied.. how seriously you were wrong and lied to me and your sister … Just by your decisions and through elections, we create pain and a woman's share.
Eh, mom … for half my life I believed in your landmarks, because I was scared without your landmarks, because you told me that my landmarks were useless, useless and I believed that too … you told me that “mother is sacred "and I believed, putting my life on the altar of your holiness … and everything that you said I absorbed like a sponge.. and I lost touch with myself … You stood on my way to my Higher" I "to me true and sincere and you you keep hammering your nails into my brain, but my brain, my heart has learned another truth of life - Mine.
You have become old and your hands, your grip has weakened, and my experience and wisdom have strengthened … But you still try to squeeze my throat with your already weak hands.. and sometimes I stop breathing, like then.. endless bronchitis, laryngitis, pharyngitis … I still have scars on my lungs, the marks from your strong fingers - bronchiectasis. It will always remain with me as a memory of your power over me. How did you do it?
Half of my life has been lived.. more than half of my life is behind … and for a year now it has been quiet and light in my soul, because this time, a year ago, I made my choice, made a decision not to please you and not out of protest to you, as it always was, but for myself and out of myself … And your manipulations on death and loss, on the feeling of guilt did not touch me … And.. It turned out that life is joy … Women's lot is a wonderful lot, and men are not enemies, but friends, the same friends as well as women.. yes there are different, but now I am not the one who, for the sake of a woman's share, will endure humiliation and dependence, now I am not the one who certainly wants to get married, bake a family and bake pies. I am not the one who will keep silent, if my boundaries are violated, I am not the one who will sacrifice himself.. Because now I live out of love for myself and for the world, and not out of love for you, my holy mother.
I am free … from you Mom.. and your heritage.. from the madness of women of my kind … and I am free from meeting men who can help me again believe in your rightness, my dear mother …
It seems to be customary after that to thank you for the life that you gave me.. But I didn’t ask you to give me this gift.. Moreover, it seems to me that my life was your gift to myself … Therefore, we will do without formalities … I have no desire to change your world.. I have a desire to change my world further.. I feel that it can be even more wonderful than now …
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