2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Annoying rot, potential eater, dwarf dwarf) or what would you call your Inner Critic? Yes, this comrade can pretty much ruin your life. How to be? Let's figure it out
Psychologists call it in a clever way) - the super-self, the controlling parent or autonomous negative thoughts, the Nagoski sisters in their book "Burnout" - the inner Madness. All this is about one thing - this is a part of the human psyche, which in a certain way solves the issues of control and assessment, and a part of the personality that is formed in childhood (which is not formed there only)) under the influence of significant adults. It can also get in the way. So much so that these critical voices in your head become the background, you no longer really distinguish them and live, wondering at low self-esteem, lack of desires, fear of action, vague longing and anxiety. A colossal amount of energy is merged into all this, just imagine.
But there is good news! The critic is part of you. This means that it is in the zone of your influence.
What is important to know:
✔ The critic is out of time. He does not distinguish between what was 20 years ago, what is now
✔ Does not take into account the changing reality - that you have already grown up, for example, and the circumstances of your life have changed)
✔ And, just believe me, he only wishes the best for you. Therefore, it is so important to clarify his message, intention.
There are 2 strategies for interacting with the Critic:
🔸Fight.
Hmm … perhaps in rare cases it is appropriate - when the criticizing part is not very strong and there is a specific task, you can bark at him "well shut up!" This gives access to strength, but also increases internal tension.
But there is another option:
🔸 Make him an ally.
For this, the Criticism must be examined.
❇How does it work?
❇When does it appear?
❇What says?
❇How do you experience his appearance and words?
❇ What would you call him?
When we name something, we can separate from it, increase the distance. And this is a very important thing.
It is also important to really understand what is the positive intention, what is the need behind the Critic. It is very important to voice his "monologue". Not to drive somewhere deeper, namely to listen to what he wants to tell you. You can write down his words, or draw in the form of a comic book, for example, or you might want to dance him. Because here it is very important that all this is connected not only with thinking, but that there is an experience of this message. What would you like to answer him?
You might also think about this: what words of praise, support do you like? What is the intonation? Or maybe these are some kind of bodily manifestations: a look, a smile, a hug. Think about the form in which it would be comfortable for you to accept. Write down your reasoning.
Your inner critic is a soup of critical voices from important adults, and when you were little you couldn't stop it. But now you can.
Working with an internal critic is not easy on your own, so this is a good request for a session. Come on over. Everything is possible. You can't just live your life again.
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