There Is A Problem? We Solve Them Together! (practical Recommendations Of A Psychologist)

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In life, every person has unpleasant problem situations. It is often very difficult to figure out and find a way out of them yourself. Then the person's hands drop, and obsessive thoughts creep into his head: “Now everything is gone. I can’t do anything anymore.” And naturally, with such thoughts, he really becomes helpless. But we always have a choice. After all, without even doing anything, we are doing something.

It's just that sometimes it's much easier not to solve the problem, but to complain about it, instead of changing something in your life yourself.

As in the parable of empty complaints:

“Once a man was walking past a house and saw an old woman in a rocking chair, an old man reading a newspaper was swinging in a chair next to her, and a dog lay on the porch between them and whined, as if from pain. why the dog whines.

The next day he walked past this house again. He saw an elderly couple in rocking chairs and a dog lying between them making the same plaintive sound.

The puzzled man promised himself that if the dog whined tomorrow, he would ask this couple about it.

On the third day, unfortunately, he saw the same scene: the old woman was swinging in a chair, the old man was reading the newspaper, and the dog was lying in its place and whining piteously.

He couldn't take it anymore.

- Sorry, ma'am, - he turned to the old woman, - what happened to your dog?

- With her? she asked. - She lies on a nail.

Puzzled by her answer, the man asked:

“If she’s lying on a nail and it hurts, why don’t she just get up?”

The old woman smiled and said in a friendly, gentle voice:

- So, my dear, it hurts enough to whine, but not enough to budge …"

How do you like this situation? Doesn't it remind anyone? If there is something in your life that you would like to change, maybe it's time to get down to business? Do you want to change your life? Try it! But water does not flow under the lying stone! We'll have to work hard.

In fact, there are many psychological methods and techniques that help to see a lot of useful and positive things in problem situations and find a productive way out of them. It is the situations of life crises that force people to develop, make efforts, achieve their goals and make new plans. It is very difficult for you to deal with your "mess in your head" yourself.

A competent psychologist will help you to look objectively at the problem from the outside and make the right and right decision for yourself during a life crisis. Psychologist's consultations provide an opportunity to expand the horizon of one's own capabilities, understanding oneself, one's resources, goals and means to achieve them. For example, for self-analysis and problem solving, I recommend using the Positive Thinking Formulas.

Formulas for positive thinking:

Formula No. 1. Theater in a snuff box: “Imagine that you are watching a performance from above, the basis of which is your problem situation, and the actors are you and the people around you. What would this show look like? Describe what you see?"

The ability to see the problem "from above" helps to reduce the exaggerated negative meaning of what is happening, the feeling of powerlessness. The problem is seen as a whole and becomes clearer.

Formula No. 2. Reverse side of the medal: “The medal has two sides. Likewise, where there is bad, there must be good. What is good about your position?"

Objective, “volumetric” perception of the situation is stimulated, resources are activated. You cannot answer with an excuse or with the words "There is nothing good." Even the worst has a positive start. This is the law of life, and no matter how we treat it, it works. Find a really significant positive.

Formula number 3. Problem as a friend: “If this problem were our friend, what would it tell you? What does she want to teach you? Why did she appear in your life?"

In this case, the position of "cooperation" with the problem is taken. There is a filling with the meaning of what is happening. All this contributes to the solution of the problem.

Formula number 4. Advice to a friend: “If such a problem was not with you, but with your friend, what would you advise him? What recommendations could you give? What is the best way for him to solve the problem?"

We solve other people's problems much easier than our own, as we see them from the outside, "entirely". By changing the position of the assessment, we can help find a solution.

Formula No. 5. Unnoticed resource: “In your place, many people are in a much worse position. How did you manage to stay at this level? What helped you: what are your qualities, people and circumstances?"

A sense of one's own possibilities is activated. We are reviewing our own resources.

Formula No. 6. Small bricks of a large wall: “If we want to jump over a large wall, then most likely we will break, and the wall will remain in place. If we separate a small brick from the wall every day, after a while we will see that not a trace will remain of the wall. Think about the first three bricks you will take out of this wall?"

The possibility of achieving the goal is activated.

Formula No. 7. By the fireplace: “Imagine that some time has passed and everything that is happening now turned out to be in the distant past. And now you are sitting by the fireplace, next to you are your close people, and you are talking about how once such a story happened to you … You talk about your situation and how you managed to get out of it. Tell this story now."

Use these formulas when it is difficult for you, look for a positive solution and positive aspects of your problem for the benefit of yourself and your health!

And do not be ashamed to seek help from a psychologist! After all, the consciousness of a person in crisis situations often narrows, the scale of the problem is unconsciously exaggerated, anxiety increases, self-esteem falls, and it seems that the state of crisis will never end. And consultations with a psychologist provide an opportunity to take a sensible look at what is happening and overcome life's hardships without stretching their experience for a long time.

The article uses materials from the book by E. V. Emelyanova Psychological problems of modern adolescents