2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In one of the conversations with her acquaintance, who is studying to be a psychotherapist and herself at one time underwent psychotherapy with a specialist, she noted the following: “You need to warn about this that getting the result ultimately depends only on you. As much as you are ready to receive and you will receive. It seems so clear, but nevertheless, if you give some money that is significant for you, then you need to remember that you will take exactly as much as you are ready for."
When a client comes to therapy, he hands over part of the responsibility for his results to a specialist. And, as a rule, the more he gives to the psychotherapist for the answer, the less he himself will receive. When a person is ready to take decisions into his own hands and do something to implement what has been planned, movement begins in the right direction. While you are not responsible for the subject of work, you are unable to do anything with it. By returning to yourself the right to be responsible for something, you are returning to yourself the right to decide, the right to act.
If you have not yet solved the problem, then most likely you have not accepted responsibility for it. Therefore, it is worth looking at the reasons that prevent this from being done. Sometimes responsibility is scary in itself, it seems like something too big, or accepting it will force you to act more actively, etc.
Including it is worth remembering that the frequent “I no longer believe that something will work out” also lies in your area of responsibility. Because disbelief in solving a problem is often a way to shift responsibility onto something or someone else. If, for example, the problem lies in the area of relationships, then the responsibility can be shifted to another person, spouse, relative; money problems - lack of start-up capital, crisis, government, etc.
Belief in success is not a passive state, but requires active actions, a constant search for new opportunities, ways to implement the plan, conversion of available resources, their exchange, etc.
It is worth thinking every day what decision is worth making, and almost compulsorily to take: start living, enjoy the current day, open up to a new one. This is one of the signs of autonomy (initiative, independent decision-making, self-realization).
One of the incredibly important and almost inevitable steps in dealing with a problem and responsibility is accepting the problem. Any phenomenon can be changed only after you accept it. And this means that you will finally see the problem, stand in front of it in full growth, admit that it exists and will not disappear by itself, stop blaming it for your failures, and already more calmly decide “what will I do with you now?.
With active two-way work, the specialist will provide high-quality work in psychotherapy and help the client transform the obstacles that hinder him, help him get the necessary resources. Having solved the problem, you become so much better that returning to the previous state becomes just stupid. Psychotherapy is a two-way road and a person should move along his stream honestly and actively. The specialist, of course, must provide high-quality therapy - for this he is already responsible.
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When Everything Changes For Sure
At one time, when I was working as a trainer in the field of personnel management, I came across an interesting model for accepting changes (I do not remember the author, unfortunately). It consists of 4 stages of attitudes towards changes in the life of the work collective:
I Want Changes
Are you dissatisfied with your relationship with your partner, with others, with your parents? Do you want to change this relationship? Please! AND first of all, start with yourself . Everything that happens to us in the outer world, in relations with others, is a reflection of us and our inner world.
Changes During Therapy
In the end, any successful therapy ends up in the same way: the client changes. Of course, these are not those magical changes pleasing to the eye, when at the end of therapy your personal unicorn appears in the home stall, and during morning coffee the birds start singing in unison in the trees.
How To Open Up The Strength And Sources For Positive Changes In Your Life
The path to discovering the strength and sources of positive change in yourself is through suffering. As long as we run away from suffering and do not have the strength and courage to look at the root of all our problems and sufferings, until then our life will be like a struggle with windmills, which does not radically change and does not bring joy and positiveness.
Vulnerability And Responsibility Part 2 (connection Between Sacrifice, Dependence And Lack Of Responsibility)
In the previous part, we briefly looked at how lack of responsibility and decision-making skills are correlated with mental retardation. That women, due to social upbringing, have more problems with these skills than men. Therefore, therapy in men is more often faster and easier.
