2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Very often during a consultation I am asked the following question: “I have low self-esteem. How can I upgrade it? What do you need to do for this?"
I want to share my thoughts on this. In my opinion, there are many false beliefs that form and feed glossy magazines, books on "popular" psychology and various kinds of courses and trainings. They promise to magically change the mindset: "I can't do it" - to the mindset: "I can do it!" It's actually not that easy! Why? This is because self-esteem is not formed by sitting at the table, but it is formed in real life.
You should take part in the game that life gives you, even if you are not sure of your victory. In the case of the formation of positive self-esteem, the motto: "If I do not win, then I do not play" - consider it harmful for self-esteem. Avoiding defeat leads to avoiding victory! It is the victories that we got in the face of difficulties that allow us to develop and our self-esteem grows. It is in situations like this that we feel the young shoots of our self-esteem grow.
Maybe you are already well aware of what you need to do to destroy your self-esteem and drive it into the coffin? If you do not know about this, then I will tell you.
How to drive your self-esteem into the coffin?
So, instead of telling you what to do to boost your self-esteem, I will show you 5 nails in the coffin of your self-esteem.
- Avoid responsibility and risk. Do not put yourself in danger at work, at school, in your daily life. If something scares you, then ask colleagues, relatives, friends to act for you. For example, let a colleague call the branch office instead of you, and thus you will avoid communicating with the branch manager. This will be a good blow to your self-esteem with the bat.
- Avoid situations in which you don't feel well.
- Think more often in this way: "I will not be able to cope", "I will not be able to", "I will not succeed in anything."
- Always focus on what went wrong or the mistakes you made.
- Try your best to live up to other people's expectations and avoid saying what you really think.
Avoid responsibility and risk. Do not put yourself in danger at work, at school, in your daily life. If something scares you, then ask colleagues, relatives, friends to act for you. For example, let a colleague call the branch office instead of you, and thus you will avoid communicating with the branch manager. This will be a good blow to your self-esteem with the bat. Avoid situations in which you don't feel well. Think more often in this way: "I will not cope", "I will not be able", "I will not succeed in anything." Always focus on what went wrong or the mistakes you made. Try your best to meet other people's expectations, avoid saying what you really think. Thus, the motto is harmful to self-esteem: “If I don’t win, then I won’t play"- we replace it with a motto that is useful for our self-esteem: “If I don’t play, then I don’t win!”. To win, you need to get vaccinated against defeat!
Which of these five nails do you use in your life?
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