2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Another month, and a stressful period will begin for parents who want their children to achieve something in this life - the school year. Such parents, of course, worry about their studies and grades. Many parents worry so much that the children themselves begin to worry about their studies. To reduce stress levels, I invite parents to answer a few questions. I hope they will help you look at education and your children from a different angle.
To begin with, a small lyrical digression about cats. In the village, my grandmother lived with cats. Not processed from anything, with the right to hunt and reproduce freely. Cats that walk on their own, but always come in the evening for a portion of fresh milk. Cats periodically had kittens - helpless, blind, unable to survive without mother's warmth and milk, and the cat was with them almost all the time. The kittens grew up, became sighted and dexterous, the cat left them for a long period, and when the time came, brought them a half-dead mouse - to play, and at the same time to learn a little about hunting. The kittens grew up a little more, and the cat took them on the first hunt. And now the kittens are hunting on their own, living on their own, coming in the evening for a portion of fresh milk. This is how cats cope with the main parental task - preparing the child for an independent life.
We are not cats, and a modern child does not need to catch mice, parents face completely different tasks, which no mother, together with her father and other relatives, cannot cope with on her own. We have to attract specialists - send children to educational institutions or organize high-quality education at home with tutors. The main task for parents and educational institutions is the same - to prepare the child for an independent life in the modern world, to give him the necessary skills. The responsibility for preparing the child rests with the parents. This includes the choice of a school, and help in choosing circles, sections, a university, and the degree of participation in training, and a personal example, and much more.
I propose to fantasize a little, and go at a time when the goal has already been achieved - your child has become an adult, independent. To do this, answer the questions below.
1. In what year will your child turn 30? This is the age when he should definitely become independent. The smarter the species, the longer its childhood. We are perhaps the smartest on planet Earth, and our childhood lasts up to 21 years old, and according to some psychologists, already up to 25-30 years old (we have grown wiser, and the amount of knowledge and skills necessary for life has grown).
2. Describe the world in the year your son or daughter turns 30. Do you think it will be the same? You probably remember your first mobile phone. Your child, most likely, does not remember, because he has had a mobile phone since early childhood. Today you can shop and work from the comfort of your couch, and literary contests are won by robots. Did you guess the world would be like this when you graduated from high school? Now try to imagine the world in N years, given the speed at which everything is changing around. What will remain, what will go away?
3. What qualities, in your opinion, does your child need to take a worthy place under the sun in a changed world?
4. Look at your child. Who is he?:
- Creative person? He dreams, always invents some stories, sings, dances, is engaged in visual activities, is able to create vivid images.
- Scientist? Likes to experiment, is interested in science, has an analytical mindset.
- Businessman? He has some kind of commercial schemes in his head, is interested in money, knows how to communicate with people and get his way.
- Executor? Obedient, executive, disciplined, tactful. Such people achieve success in government positions.
- Master? Pulls the child to do something with his hands - tinkering, assembling constructors, sewing, knitting, etc.
- Sportsman?
Look at the child, discarding all the templates that somewhere they earn poorly and that some activity is incompatible with the concept of "success." In any of the above areas, you can earn millions and be at the social top. But these are all different skills and different personalities.
5. You have chosen the direction that best suits your child's character. What abilities need to be developed in order for him to achieve success in the chosen direction?
6. Now ask your child: who does he want to be? Did it coincide with your ideas about his inclinations? Most probably not.
7. Look at the job site with your child. How much are good specialists now paid in the profession chosen by the child? What are the requirements?
8. Which of the skills listed in clause 7 does the educational institution provide?
9. Which of the qualities listed in clause 3 are given by the school and the university?
10. Which of the abilities listed in item 5 does your educational institution develop? How does it help the child develop their commercial, creative, or whatever you choose, abilities?
11. How many successful people working in their degree field do you know?
12. Do you know successful people who do not have a college degree or graduated from high school with Cs?
13. Let's go back to the future, to your 30-year-old child. How did the grades at school / university affect his life? How do they help / hinder in his 30s?
14. You are preparing your child for an independent life, and you do a lot as a parent. Including - you earn money to ensure his future, take care of his health, organize leisure time, despite fatigue. Can you be judged as a parent by your child's school grades? Will this assessment be fair?
ZY Most likely, life in N years will not be the same as you suggested, and certainly not the same as it is now. Your child may not become what he wants now, it doesn't matter. The most important thing is that you now know for sure that you need to think further than school grades, that you should not set such a small primitive goal for yourself and your child - a good grade or a university graduation diploma. The main task is professional and personal success, and this requires mental abilities, skills, character. Of course, a "piece of paper" confirming professional status and giving the legal right to do what you love will not hurt. At school, a child is just learning, which means he has the right to make a mistake and a bad grade. Grades are not needed to rate the child or you as a parent. Assessments help to understand what the child is doing, what needs to be paid attention to. Let the school and university help you prepare your child for an independent life, and not shatter your nervous system.
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