Is A Man Obliged To Make A Woman Happy?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I need a friend

Oh i need a friend

To make me happy

Not so alone

Black / "Wonderful life"

The answer to this question will lie in the plane of reflection: "Is a woman obliged to make a man happy?", "Is a mother obliged to make a child happy?" and "Are bees obligated to make the right honey?" Probably, the choice of the answer depends on who is responsible, but I would like to reason from a neutral position, and there is no way to ask the bees, unfortunately.

I think many have heard the phrase that it is worth discussing the taste of oysters with those who ate them, and perhaps it is also better to discuss relationships not with young maidens who met a man last week who is so wonderful in all respects that they think about him there are "butterflies in the stomach", and with those people (regardless of gender) who distinguish "love" from "falling in love" and are not inclined to imagine family life exclusively in pink tones.

As an epigraph to this article, I took a phrase from a very famous song in which the hero wants him to have a friend, moreover, this friend should make him happy and not alone. This echoes, for example, the parting words of the newlyweds, when the future mother-in-law "hands over" the daughter-in-law to her son-in-law so that he "makes her happy", although this is also true for mother-in-law, especially for those who are against the future daughter-in-law, because she, according to their opinion, cannot (or cannot) make their son happy. In general, conversations about "happiness" in family life are not so often encountered, if we analyze what people talk about most often. What do newlyweds wish for at weddings? "Advice and Love", "Long Years Together", "More Children". Which of the above is the equivalent of happiness? Nothing when viewed from a neutral position. The phrases "I'm happy with him" from a twenty-year-old girl and from a forty-year-old woman have completely different meanings, and do not always depend on the man as such.

By and large, all life coaching is about relationships. With yourself, with your emotions, with generic programs, with the world around you and people, be they children, parents or spouses. Whatever request a client or client comes with - increasing income, establishing family life, finding a partner - in 90% of cases we will come to the question “How do you feel about yourself?”, And even more correctly: “Do you love yourself and if not, why not? " I often hear clients make claims to their parents for the fact that they "disliked" them, did not appreciate, did not support, did not pay due attention. And you know what is the most interesting? This is true. Yes, your parents didn’t give you as much attention as you would like, yes, they didn’t support you, yes, they didn’t give you enough love, and some parents really don’t love their children, no matter how awful it sounds. Even the notorious "maternal instinct" is not present in all women, not all women fall into ecstasy at the sight of a baby blowing bubbles and do not feel a burning desire to immediately have a pair of the same. There are streamlined phrases like “They (parents) loved you, but not as you would like / Loved, but in their own way / Loved as they could and as they could,” but this does not help much, because it does not solve anything. Some of the children really did not want, someone was born of the wrong sex, someone infuriated and annoyed with their "similarity" to the child's father (or mother), with someone the parents or one of them is constantly in " competition ", reasoning as follows:" How is my child more successful and more talented than me ??? It can't be! " While you are in the position of a child (I am now talking about psychological age), then you most likely have an attitude: "Parents love their children / Parents must love their children / Parents must love their children."If you are a little over five years old and you already know how to think critically, look around and think: “Is this true? Is it true that ALL parents love their children? " And then what about abandoned babies, violence against children, the sale of children into slavery and organs? It exists, and yes, it sounds creepy. And if we take the position of a psychologically adult, then we will be able to reconsider this attitude and say: “My parents treated me the way they did, they had their own reasons, just as I have my reasons to treat my children the way I treat them, and I cannot change my childhood. " Moreover, if I am an adult, then there is no point in continuing to make claims to my parents, this is a dead end, a road to nowhere. At the age of 21, according to the theory of seven-year cycles, a human being “breaks away” from its biological roots and must, as esotericists say, “stand under its Spirit”. Any complaints about "someone" are meaningless, leave mom and dad alone, they gave you what they could, and what you did not receive from them, in your opinion, you will have to "give" to yourself. Love, give attention and care, give a feeling of security and confidence. God to help, in the literal sense of the word, is the God that you have inside. You yourself, in between lives, chose just such a mom and such a dad, and you had a reason for that.

Here I will digress a little to express a more "general" idea. I often come across - or have come across - the practices of Forgiving Parents, Adopting Parents, and so on. All of them, roughly speaking, boil down to the fact that "thank your parents", at least for the fact that they gave you life, and just as often I hear objections. How can I be grateful to them and forgive them, they did what they did to me (I will make a reservation, this is not about real violence of any nature, but about “disliking”)! My theory here is that all claims to parents arise from the fact that a person does not see the meaning and happiness in his life. I cannot be grateful for not making me happy. Rather, I can, but I am not able or I don’t want to, this is already "aerobatics". Imagine a situation when a girl wanted some fancy jeep as a gift, and a guy gave her a Fiat Panda, and he spent not only everything he had on it, but also got into debt. Would you be grateful? Or will you argue that the guy is a rogue? If your life is disgusting to you, and you do not understand why you ended up in it at all, naturally, you cannot be grateful for it! But if I - or Masha, it's not about me personally - gets high on my life, then yes, she will be grateful that she has it, the very fact of being on Earth and the opportunity to be happy. And if I didn’t hit my finger and finger in order to create my “happy reality”, then I will sit and tell everyone how my father (or mother) ruined my life. It is necessary to shove the responsibility for everything that happens on someone.

In fact, the phrase or thought that “My parents gave me everything they could” sets you free. The realization that you are already an adult (adult) and independent (independent) in everything. Did your parents forbid you to party? You are already forty, arrange at least every day. Did your parents disapprove of your friends? You have been living separately for a long time, make friends with whoever you want. Were your parents against your drinking? Your liver, if you want to destroy it, destroy it. That's it, they no longer command and dispose of you, but then you get off them with your cries: "They didn't buy me a machine!" Yes, it would be great if the parents were happy people, I don’t even say “successful”, because it doesn’t matter now, but happy. Enjoyed life, each other, you, the dog, the weather, life - then it would be easier for you, you would have the skill to be happy. And if not - sorry, learn yourself, maybe they will learn, looking at you.

Let's go back to men and women. Men love happy women, but women somehow think that making women happy is the responsibility of men, and men don't. In the case of a conscious choice, they have already chosen the one that seemed to them the happiest, and they like to be with her, and problems begin when a woman decides that since she is “with a man”, then she herself does not need to maintain her level of happiness, it should be done by a man. Is a man obliged to make a woman happy? No. He can, if he wants, but even then he is responsible only for his actions, and if a woman does not want to make herself happy, he does not need a double burden. He would have to figure out in his life, where did you get the idea that he was "loved" in childhood, but did not he cultivate it in himself? Of course, there are many cases and "vice versa", when for some reason a man appoints a woman responsible for his happiness, but here you have to look towards his mother and figure out why he still makes claims to her, instead of living with his mind.

From the point of view of Free Will, the situation looks like this: no one can make you either happy or unhappy, simply because it is impossible. “Others” are not tailored for your happiness, this is the same as that you would be terribly angry and offended at the washing machine because it cannot cook borscht for you. You are on your own. Himself the Creator. Nobody forbids you to be happy, and nobody bothers you, no matter how much we all want to think so and look for the "responsible". There is no such phrase: "I cannot be happy because …". Happiness, like love, is your inner state, it does not depend on anything at all, except for your choice to be or not to be, almost like Shakespeare. If you truly love someone, then, by and large, it does not matter whether they love you in return or not, because love is your own state, and it does not depend on the other person. If a person says: “I love you, but only on condition that you love me in return,” then this is not love at all, but manipulation. If a woman argues that she needs someone or something in order to be happy (husband, child, house, car, fur coat), then the question will be why she has withdrawn herself from her life, why her such a position, what this position serves.

Only he himself (or, in our case, she herself) can make a person happy. Why a person doesn't choose to make themselves happy is a good coaching question and topic for a hotel article. And if you want to understand what prevents you from feeling joyful, easy and free right now, then ask yourself so, and at the same time find out what kind of buns and benefits you find in not doing this, and why you need to demand, for someone to come and "make you happy".

Until next time, Yours, #anyafincham