The Mistake That Leads To Loneliness

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

It is uncomfortable to look out the window alone, and even in December, when the new year is coming soon. Despite the fact that the holiday, most likely, will have to be met at best with parents, although the belief in a miracle remains inside. But a practical mind says that fairy tales have already ended, alas, a long time ago.

And again in your thoughts you return to the very question “Why did this happen? Why didn't it work out, because everything started so well? There are no intelligible answers, only assumptions or more accusations. When you blame the other, it’s even easier to become, but the trouble is, not for long.

And then again a carousel of questions and thoughts, from which there is no rest. The state of being lost, dissatisfied. A bad state, and to be completely honest - a lousy one, in the soul it is not just cats scratching, but in general a complete emptiness and pain.

It often happens when it is difficult for yourself to admit that the main mistake that led you to this is your attitude towards yourself. When I tell this thought to people in a consultation, usually the first reaction is misunderstanding and denial. "How so?". But with all the variability and individuality of such situations, very often this is really the main and very common mistake.

It happens in life that we have no time or no skills, just to accept ourselves, in cases with relationships, most often you come to the understanding that people (good, decent, educated) over and over again repeat the same mistake. They cannot accept themselves and their real desires. Exactly their own, this is important. The results are always sad, as a rule, in the choice of a person; they are not lucky to create a relationship with noticeable constancy.

It happens like this. People do not use their own criteria for choosing. In other words, they lie to themselves about what is really valuable to them, both in themselves and in others. It's easier to find someone, and then finish him or her, choose a semi-finished product. But in life, such numbers do not work.

Another option is when those criteria of value (inner value of a person) that are approved by society are used for selection: success, security, etc. It turns out like going to the store. A man buys potatoes over and over again, although he wants coffee. Yes, potatoes can be cooked deliciously, but this is not coffee. Potatoes do not have a coffee aroma, it does not boil in a Turk. You can get enough of potatoes, but that vigor that coffee gives you will not be.

And if you continue the thought, then the understanding comes that if I want coffee, then I should buy it, and, interestingly, both potatoes and coffee are sold in the same supermarket, but in different departments.

Sometimes it is very important and helpful to accept what really is your desire. After all, when we copy other people's desires, then, accordingly, we get a result that is alien to us. The copy is always worse than the original. The original in such situations is your and only your values, you should rely on them so as not to be alone in December.

In general, miracles do happen, and more often for those who accept themselves, their values and do not lie to themselves in their desires. Moreover, regardless of the season.

Live with joy! Anton Chernykh.