Be NOT Yourself

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

It was a long time ago. I went to a group and was invited to participate as a substitute in one constellation. Now I don't even remember which character I was chosen. But what happened to me in this role, I clearly remember for many years.

At first everything went as usual, my character calmly walked around the room among other figures. I noticed one peculiarity, my right hand dangled like a whip and from time to time I wanted to push other figures with my elbow. Then there was a feeling of a cigarette in his teeth. In my life I had a chance to try cigarettes, I can imagine what it is. But my character held it with his teeth, participating in the conversation did not take it out of his mouth. Personally, I couldn't do that:-) Then some important conversation began, other figures were discussing something. I wanted to sit down (for some reason just at the table) and take a new cigarette. Cigarettes were nowhere to be found:-) I was looking for them with my eyes and distracted from the conversation. And then I saw a pack of cigarettes, as clearly as I see these letters now. The pack lay on a wooden table. I reached out to her with my right hand. Then it was even steeper, I saw how the stump of my right hand hit the pack, the cigarette jumped out and the old man's other hand deftly grabbed it. The right arm was amputated almost to the elbow. "Grandfather" lit a cigarette and returned to the conversation. He may have returned, but I, in fact, the mistress of this body, was in complete shock. What's this? Hallucinations? The onset of a mental disorder? The same grandfather distracted me)) He was angry, indignant and tried to scream. Personally, I, an adult educated woman, are not used to yelling in the middle of the room, surrounded by strangers. Therefore, I only delicately informed the presenter that my character considers them to be Herods (whom I can not imagine) and bitterly regrets what they did to Marinka / Maruska (I didn’t make out the name exactly). The action continued, the figures moved, talked. At some point, everyone surrounded one woman. My character rejoiced - now everyone is looking at her! It's her fault! It's not a pity to kill such a mother! I didn't let my grandfather talk)) Obviously, he was not the central character. At that moment, some more important words sounded from other figures. The grandfather was only emotionally shaking his stump, seeking justice. And then he began to cry, quietly and helplessly. I didn’t protect, didn’t help … Tears flowed down wrinkled cheeks. He wiped them off with a stump, and with his other hand knocked over a glass with a cloudy liquid. My throat burned, then my stomach warmed. It didn't matter what the women were arguing about. I wanted to sing) Then I couldn't shut up my grandfather)) He walked around the other figures and sang "Baaarynya barynyayaya!" At first they ate audibly, then louder. He could not remember further words, but he really wanted to sing. And to dance:-) Drunk legs did not obey and he only squatted slightly, apparently trying to dance in a squatting position. In the midst of the grandfather's fun, the arrangement was stopped.

I sat down and finally saw my right hand in full. "It's time to tie up with visiting such events" - then I thought. But I didn't:-) And I visit them to this day. Already more relaxed about everything that one manages to experience as a deputy. By the way, after this arrangement, it turned out that the client's grandmother was called Marusya. It turns out that this grandfather is the client's great-great-grandfather. He still worried about his granddaughter Maruska. And what exactly happened to her, I did not understand.