2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
If a person does not cry, it means that he has a ban on the manifestation of feelings. Or rather, a ban on the manifestation of tears. He was taught by his parents "not to cry", brought up by their example. You can't cry because:
- it is scary to "get snappy" - to relax and not get together;
- “You can't help the cause with tears”;
- loved ones may be upset if you cry;
- tears are a manifestation of weakness, humiliation, etc.
- it is scary to "get snappy" - to relax and not get together;
- “You can't help the cause with tears”;
- loved ones may be upset if you cry;
- tears are a manifestation of weakness, humiliation, etc.
Many conscious and unconscious prohibitions stop tears. Uncried tears get stuck in a lump in the throat, a stone in the chest, a thorn in the heart. They can freeze in the form of sharp icicles or freeze our entire body with ice. But tears can also fall like rain, which creates the possibility of getting rid of pain. Crying is good. it gives the body the necessary relaxation, helps to live the feelings. Even when a person cries “for no reason,” it brings tremendous relief. Often, “soap serials” provide an opportunity to cry over someone's unfortunate fate, helping to release their own tension. Popular wisdom says: "crying - it will be easier" … Tears by themselves do not solve problems, but, like water, they wash away tension. After sobbing, it becomes easier, because the body has exhaled. Tears inspire hope, erode defenses, and provide an opportunity to acknowledge existing trauma.
Practical example. The client's permission to publish has been received.
A young woman, let's call her Dina, stops her tears during therapy. She forbids herself to cry, straining her body and throwing her head back. "When I cry, I criticize myself." Dina and I work in emotional imagery therapy. Dina's inner critic looks like a three-headed dragon with a crocodile's tail. At the same time, one of his head belongs to his mother, the second to his father, and the third to her husband.
Mom's head demands that Dina always smile, because happy children should smile. If a child cries, something in his life is “wrong”. And who is to blame for this? Mom first of all. A mother is responsible for the emotional state of her children. If the baby is crying, it means that the mother is bad.
Father himself "drowned in drunken tears" and this makes Dina afraid of tears. Crying, the girl feels shame and humiliation, because she becomes like her father.
The husband's requirements for Dina can be called outrageous, he wants too much, it is difficult for a girl next to him not only to reveal her abilities, but even to live in accordance with such "high" ideals. The husband gets angry when he sees Dina's tears, starts screaming. He considers tears to be a manifestation of weakness.
What does each head want? What unmet need is hidden behind the façade of behavior? It is important for mom to feel good, for dad to be needed, and for husband to be strong. At the same time, the husband confuses strength and rejection of feelings. In his mind, a strong person does not feel anything. A man devotes a lot of time to practices that teach him to control his feelings. He allows himself to experience "only calmness." At the same time, unrecognized anger “crawls out of all the cracks”, manifesting itself in intonation, voice volume, posture, heavy gaze, and nagging at others. Dina allowed all heads to express "all their feelings." There were many feelings. Heads howled, swore, sobbed and laughed hysterically. Dina then allowed each head to have what it needed. Mom - to feel good, dad - to be needed, husband - strong. The image of a dragon with a crocodile tail was transformed into a cute crocodile Gena. The good-natured crocodile was ready to support Dina in her manifestation of feelings. Any feelings.
“This is the kind of Inner Critic I like,” Dina said. You CAN give yourself the right to feel and allow yourself to express them. And then we become “just a person” who can get tired, disappointed, sad. Allow your pain to be. And cry. Live a fulfilling life.
Recommended:
How To Trust In A Relationship? No Way. But This Is Not Necessary
These endless groans of "trust?" and "kaaak not to be afraid?" - from infantilism. You have to trust if you are blind and you are being led by a guide. If you don’t need support to survive, you don’t need guarantees, partial trust is enough.
Changing Your Profession After 35 Years Is Not Possible, But Necessary
All these questions are relevant for almost any person who has been working for a long time in one place and has crossed the border of adulthood. He often asks them to himself right up to the very retirement. But in vain! After all, there is still time to change your life:
Although Sanguine People Also Cry, But The Truth Is, Not For Long! 😉
To begin with, it is logical to define the terminology. Temperament is a complex of individual personality traits that determine the dynamics of her behavior and mental activity. There are several temperament tests. The most famous of these are the Eysenck scales:
It Is Important Not Only To Do, But Also Not To Do
"… we must give the psychoanalyst his due that he does not try, playing on the trust of the so-called patient, to inspire him with something or somehow guide him. If this were so, psychoanalysis would have left the scene long ago, as happened with many others.
It Is Not Necessary To Marry
I'm not a big fan of marriage . I believe that marriage places talented dreamers who can change the world inside an accepted institution, where they then spend a tremendous amount of time, emotion, "magic" and valuable energy trying to be a "
