Forgive To Live On

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Forgive and let go … What does this mean? For me it is first of all to understand what happened. Survive everything connected with this and move on. From communication with the client:

“Today I dreamed that my real mother was a completely different person, not familiar to me. That she is like me, and that I should not imitate her. And if for the first, recognizable, (short black hair) I have no affection, disgust, irritation, fear and contempt. We are facing each other, sitting opposite, as before a battle. Then to the second, not familiar, trust and safety. She is light-colored with elongated hair, sits on the same plane with me. We are close, and as if for one thing. And such a person, I would be interested to know and communicate with her. I felt closeness. Yes, I am her daughter …"

Well, what I want to tell you, this patient, 35 years old. But when she talked about her mother, she looked like a little hunted animal…. Forced to defend himself by all means, but with all his heart yearning for love and security. Life has so developed that it is easier for her to invent a new person than to forgive the real offense … And at least from the image, in a dream, to experience those feelings and skills that are simply necessary for survival. This therapy has not been for a single year, but only because the appropriate assistance was not provided on time. Psychological support. Then, in childhood, it was impossible to do this. But now, under different circumstances, I am sure that you can … Pay attention to yourself, your friends or relatives. What if you are now performing actions that are long and difficult, later you will have to correct.

You know, the assessment is given to actions, and not to those who commit them. This is from the region, but she is a mother, father, wife or daughter, which means she could do this. Yes, she could, and did … But did she have the right? And what will be the consequences? For privacy reasons, details are omitted.

Events can be anything. To justify some things only by their belonging to those who do them … In my opinion, it is dangerous to health. And when the experience is perceived, it is repeated, traumatic. Because if a person is already traumatized by what happened. It is simply criminal to convince him that this is the "norm" or to ignore it in some cases. Mistakenly believing that it would be comforting. But imagining that this is the "norm", a person is unable to reject such treatment and heal his wounds. After all, subconsciously, he feels the pain and injustice of what is happening. And only after realizing the fullness of the feelings experienced, having received confirmation of your fears, you can survive what happened and live on.

Forgiveness comes naturally … at this moment. And then individual conclusions are made, and based on them, natural decisions are made. This creates an experience that protects us from repeating what we don't like. On the path to liberation (forgiveness), there is complete awareness of what is happening. The situation when emotions pass is soberly assessed. The main thing is not to get stuck in it. Do not turn away from the situation in which the injury occurred. Don't run away from her. And do not listen to those who say that these are "trifles" and do not worry, everything will pass. It is worth going through, and only then everything will pass.

If you have been shot, then the bullet must be removed. And the fact that this is unacceptable because it is deadly should compel you to take saving measures. With what specialists. And not carry a bullet in yourself in the hope that it will dissolve on its own. And not to try to convince the person that she is not there, and the fact that the shot is not well thought out, or it was made by an acquaintance, will save him from amputation of his leg. So, how to heal a wound, it doesn't matter who exactly shot. It is important who will treat. A doctor, not a neighbor.

So it is with the provision of psychological assistance. Dear friends, leave it to the specialists. And if you really want to support your loved ones, be sincere and thoughtful in what you say or advise. Just listen, sympathize, and hug, let cry on your shoulder. Do not "close your mouth", do not dismiss the suffering. Do not try to diminish the significance of their experiences … Do not oversimplify their feelings with your everyday assessment of the situation. Which is often superficial. Believe me, this will only make a person worse.