2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
This is a difficult, pre-difficult topic! Let's comprehend it
The inflicted betrayal is a serious psychotrauma that requires significant study.
It is difficult to endure a betrayal, but it is almost impossible to survive it without "scars"! After all, the wound is inflicted in the most vulnerable - open to another spaces and those from whom you do not expect.
Synonyms for betrayal are treason, violation, treachery.
Epithets - disgusting, low, mean.
This concept in social perception is associated with something immoral, blasphemous. And in the Christian - apostate, sinful.
Let's think about how to help a person experiencing betrayal? Having defined the main stages of living of a particular grief thesis, with the recommendations of the period.
Do not be surprised, but the phases I have outlined are equivalent to the stages of experiencing emotional loss, because in the circumstances of betrayal, as in a situation of psychological breakup, the following happens:
- the collapse of the old, stable world, - mental loss - breakup and
- difficult adaptation to a new life.
So, let's comprehend the periods …
I. Stage of numbness, shock
For some time, an unexpectedly rejected person is paralyzed by his misfortune - literally stunned, turned off - he is scared to come to his senses, because there is no old world and there will be no more.
But you have to wake up - and this is the first turn to the way out of the overturned only life.
Recommendations - how to help?
At this stage, you just need to be with the grieving person, hold his hand, hug and support him with short, invigorating phrases: "" I am with you! "," We are together! "And" Everything will work out!"
II. The stage of denial
The next, natural stage is the stage of denial. A person woke up - he returns to his life, but categorically does not believe in what is happening, rejecting the unacceptable truth. Implementing essentially the following formula:
"You can't accept - you can't reject it!"
And the main thing that will have to be done at this stage - with all the resistance to circumstances - admit what happened:
"collapse" happened, you are under the "obstruction of life" - unfortunately, it is!
And the formula we have to agree with will sound differently:
"accept - you cannot reject!"
Recommendations - how to help?
Help your friend in mastering the difficult truth: defeat happened, but life goes on and on the ruins of yesterday we will build a new world!
III. The stage of anger
Realizing what is happening, the grieving person is overwhelmed with anger - and this is natural: this is how he reacts to the violator of mental boundaries, because he treacherously broke his built world, throwing him into despondency.
You just need to go through this stage, giving it the opportunity for environmentally friendly implementation, at the end of which, the period will naturally end.
Here it is appropriate to stomp your anger with your feet; shout it out; to explain with the traitor virtually, pouring out all the indignation and claims in a sincere conversation; some write angry letters to the offender, which do not have to be sent at all - it is important to let your feelings pour out (harmless to others).
Recommendations - how to help?
Support a friend in socially possible realizations that contribute to the playing of unexpressed emotions. For example, dancing when visiting a club or in a gym.
IV. The stage of depression or sadness
At the end of the anger, a deeper stage sets in - the stage of living in mental sadness. And if anger (in essence, manifestation) means the protection of violated mental boundaries, then sadness personifies the absence of the desired gain or its loss, and is associated with a deep acceptance of the given - as it is - objective.
This stage is very, very growing, leading into the depths of the soul, the end of which is preceded by recovery - the readiness to enter a new world, and in fact - the transition to a higher spiritual level. The stage of the quantum leap (but only after completion).
At this stage, it is useful to cry a lot, a lot, to drive away your sadness and grieve a lot. Take pity on yourself a little, miserable. It is enough to take a sip. And support in every possible way.
And then, as we know, after a serious mental shower, not far from the inner - a beautifully beautiful rainbow …
Recommendations - how to help?
Stay close! Empathize with your friend! Watch tearful melodramas together, let the stuck tears come out completely.
V. Stage
(Here I will deviate from the classics and name the stage differently.)
Philosophical comprehension of the experienced difficult experience - what did you teach me?
It is very important, having worked out the psychological problem and getting rid of the unnecessary "slag", to take away valuable experience in the future! After all, it is given to us in any psychological material, we just have to look! The following questions will help you in this: why do you need a specific experience, what did it teach you, what would you not realize if it were not for the betrayal, how did the incident raise you internally?
Recommendations - how to help?
It is very useful to assist a friend in comprehending the experience from the philosophical and parable side. Talk to him about what happened in a constructive and resource perspective, collect valuable experience, take it in the future.
Well, and then - with your head held high - to new horizons - to a better and brighter life!
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