DECIDE

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Each person has at least once in his life to experience the moment when he needs to make some kind of life-changing decision. The understanding that a lot depends on the decision made makes many people feel anxious and confused. It is during this period that many people come for psychological help to specialists.

It is easy to make vital decisions when a person does not think (typical of heroic youth) or when he does not realize that he is making a serious choice. Most often, if a person realizes the complexity of his situation, then it is very difficult to make such decisions. Choice is always something unknown, intriguing and frightening. Authorship is always a responsibility that is difficult to accept. In times like these, the following strategies will help you find support and orientation.

Give yourself time

First, it takes time to make any decision. Do not rush and rush, "cut from the shoulder." You need to think, analyze your situation and your resources, find, and then become disillusioned with certain decisions, get into a dead end, and then look for a way out of it, wander through the often fears and doubts, despair and gain hope. All these are inevitable companions of search and decision-making.

If a person does not give himself time, then his decision can be impulsive and thoughtless, based on a fleeting mood, or made under the influence of other people.

Doubt often arises when a decision is made under internal or external pressure. If the decision has matured internally, then doubts and regrets do not arise. When the choice is not yet ripe, but it needs to be made as soon as possible, there is confusion and a desire to find the "right" solution. In a state of doubt, any choice will be unsatisfying. Such decisions are always followed by regrets or doubts. In this case, you need to think about what (or who) makes you make the choice "as soon as possible". It is better not to rush yourself, but to listen to yourself, your inner voice many times. At the same time, you need to understand that there is a reasonable time frame when a decision must be made, if the decision is delayed, this can lead to various disorders of both psychological and somatic nature.

Talking to people who know how to listen and ask good questions

At such times, people often strive to get advice or recommendation, to find someone more “smart”, “experienced”, “wise”, someone who would suggest how to act, what choice to make. However, this is not what is needed. You need to look for answers in yourself. To do this, it is important to have an interlocutor who can listen carefully and sympathetically and ask questions that you yourself might not have asked yourself, but which will force you to look for answers that contribute to a better understanding of yourself and help you make a decision. It is during this period that many people come for psychological help to specialists.

Resignation to the sacrifice

Making a choice, each of us, one way or another, is forced to give up something, to sacrifice something. There is something important and valuable that must be sacrificed when making this or that choice, you cannot sit on two chairs. In order to more clearly understand what you will have to give up, better realize the importance of this or that alternative, and also gain the courage to take responsibility for the decision, try to finish the sentence: "I will never again …".

Finding methods that help you better understand yourself

For example, you can paint. A spontaneous drawing can contain much more information than long conversations and reflections. Retire, take a sheet of paper and a set of colored pencils (felt-tip pens), put everything in front of you, ask the question: "What choice should I make?" Take a closer look at the pencils. Which one would you like to take to start drawing? Let your hand draw what it is drawing. Take away conscious control. Do whatever you want. Change pencils, experiment with shapes, lines and colors, in a word, let everything that happens be. After the drawing is completed, sit and just look at it, peering into the details, you can better understand which solution is closer to you. It is advisable to practice such drawing for several days in a row in order to realize your inner mood as deeply as possible.

Pay attention to your dreams, dreaming products can greatly help in understanding what decision you make, what scares you in this situation, what can become an assistant and what resources you have forgotten for some reason. To do this, you need to make it a rule to write down your dreams as soon as you wake up, and then try to understand them.

Conduct an experiment

Try (as much as possible) to live one day as if you made decision # 1, and the other day as if you made decision # 2. Which of these days have you lived more honestly? More fulfilling? What do you prefer?