2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I'm on the train and it's delayed.
Makes several unexpected stops along the way.
You can admire the last green grass and leaves losing their yellowness from the window.
My thoughts subside and slow down with the train.
I relax, breathe slowly, and enjoy pleasantly, realizing that every cell of my body breathes in unison with me.
I can hear the energy moving through my body …
And I also hear that somewhere ahead, a six-month-old baby is crying … and it seems that he has been crying almost from the beginning of the journey. But I only noticed it now. Probably, the crying of children has ceased to excite and attract me as much as it used to be when I had my own children.
This is indeed the case. The perception of the mother of a small child is tuned in such a way as to perceive this "cry-siren" in a special way. It is so arranged by nature to "force" the parent not to postpone his reaction, his response to the fact that the child needs something.
But still, even if people have not had small children for a long time, they do not react very kindly when a baby is screaming somewhere nearby. They begin to look at mom with an inquiring glance "do something to him!", "Calm him down!"
But I was thinking how wonderful it is when a child screams! Even though it works like an irritant for us. I remember I didn't like it either. After all, a child's cry is a rather insistent demand to get what is needed, important and wants.
It is unlikely that when a child yells, he has an insidious plan in his head how to "get" an adult, harm him, ruin his life. Although, the word "reach" is very appropriate if you perceive it as "reach out in order to receive".
It is unlikely that when the toddler yells, he means a quiet, respectful tone "sorry that I am addressing you, if you please, could you take two minutes of your precious time and rock me !?"
Just think that if he shouts, then he has the resource to demand and, as a rule, receive (thank God) what he needs. After all, if he shouts, then he declares, "I am!", "I want!", "I need!"
There are children who were born and abandoned somewhere on the street in a box or newspapers. Very often they are found by accident, because they practically do not scream, they cannot be heard. This is scary.
And there are children who live next to their parents, and at some point … maybe right after birth, or getting some negative experience later, they stop screaming and demanding loudly. Perhaps their inner resource is running out (each time you need to demand for a long time and persistently), perhaps they understand that it is useless to demand … they still will not give, or will not come.
"Making such internal decisions" is actually caused by traumatic influences of quite strong intensity. I write in quotation marks because it is clear that the baby does not make informed decisions, does not weigh the pros and cons, does not conduct a swot analysis. The decision is made under the influence of hormones, through a slow restructuring of the nervous system, muscle tone … the entire internal physiology. As a result, even a certain posture and figure, facial expressions and style of behavior are formed.
Then an adult grows up, who finds it difficult to compete in life, and indeed to build life as he wants (after all, what's the point of wanting something … they won't give it anyway). And life is such a thing that everything you need is to ask, demand, beat back, sometimes quite persistently and loudly, clearly and confidently formulate your request.
This is how it turns out that quiet, calm and comfortable children grow up to be adults who, in a quiet voice, address the world, "Excuse me for addressing you, be so kind, could you please devote two minutes of your precious time …" Or adults, who yell at children so they don't yell. And also adults who yell everywhere to be finally heard … heard that little child who did not get something important in childhood.
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