2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
An excerpt from my article "Disadaptation in the kindergarten"
From this passage you will learn what manifestations of maladjustment we can observe in a child in a kindergarten from hyper-controlling families:
“Emotional instability of the baby is interconnected with the evaluating, suspicious, controlling mother. It is difficult for her herself in a new team and in general in social contacts, she is not able to broadcast the skills of successful adaptation, because she herself does not possess them. It is difficult for these mothers to show sensitivity and patience. “All the same, you will go to kindergarten,” they say, and the child, through “I don’t want to,” in tears and grievances, goes to “his Calvary”.
Such guys quickly withdraw into themselves, try to stay away from everyone, and are reluctant to make contact with the teacher.
The maladjustment can last for years until it develops into a chronic neurosis already in adulthood.
What manifestations of maladjustment can we observe in a child from a controlling, perfectionist (striving for ideality, perfection) family:
- capriciousness
- aggressiveness
- oppositional behavior
Difficulty sleeping and falling asleep
- allergies
- enuresis (urinary incontinence), encopresis (fecal incontinence)
- chronic cold
The body screams for help when no one hears the soul. Mom demands success from the baby, she wants to be praised, it is important for her to feel like a good and correct mother, but the child cannot withstand such an intensity of passions. His needs, boundaries, natural rhythm and character have long been neglected, he is not able to independently overcome his emotional instability and maladjustment, as a result of his mother's instability.
On the inner plane, he sends a message: “Mom, you betrayed me and left me. I don't believe in your love anymore. I am lonely and nobody needs me."
A kid from a hyper-protective family came to the kindergarten. He also falls into the risk group. Being a “family idol” and suddenly becoming one of all is not just a shock, but a deep psycho-emotional wound that may never heal. It is with pleasure to manipulate households, not knowing sleep and nutrition patterns, getting what you want on demand - and suddenly a teacher appears who says "no", calls for a routine and rules - it is not possible to come to terms with this. Such parents are convinced that in the kindergarten the child's behavior will be corrected, it is there that they will cope with him and he will become obedient. And when this does not happen, then the parents try not to remember their parental responsibility, but complain about the educators.
What manifestations of maladjustment can be observed:
- problems of the gastrointestinal tract (constipation, diarrhea)
- chronic cold
- increased body temperature
- aggressiveness
- irritability
- negativism
- skin rashes
On the inner plane, the baby gives a message: “I demand that the world continues to revolve around me. And if he does not want to fulfill my desires, then I refuse such a world."
In this case, maladjustment can last for years until it develops into chronic neurosis, hysterical manifestations, or narcissistic disorder.
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