2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Cases of daughters being seduced by stepfathers are not so rare. Sometimes mothers turn to this question, but more often the already matured daughters go to a psychologist to heal the trauma caused by the libertine.
From the author: Based on the experience of my work, I want to say that cases of seduction of their wives' daughters by stepfathers are not so rare. Sometimes mothers of daughters turn to this question when the truth about corruption or cohabitation of a husband with a daughter is revealed. But more often, already matured daughters go to a psychologist to heal the trauma inflicted by a libertine. The trauma that twisted their lives. And in many cases, unfortunately, their mothers are not only victims of their husbands' betrayal - they also bear their own responsibility for what happened …
In the hellish triangle, mother stepfather daughter
The story I want to tell happened a long time ago. So long ago that at first, in a state of emotional shock, the mother turned for help, and fifteen years later her daughter came to see me, who was in a depressed state with panic attacks.
And the problems with which the mother first turned to me, and then, by chance, her daughter, were connected with one person - with the mother's ex-husband, who, being her stepfather, became her lover.
What did the mother tell in the psychologist's office?
The woman was not happy for long with a young (several years younger) husband - only as long as they had more or less normal sexual relations. Her dreams of a brother did not come true for her seven-year-old daughter, since sex life with her husband came to naught. She did not manage to "stir up" him to an intimate relationship. The husband did not want to discuss this topic. He always avoided direct answers to uncomfortable questions for him, making it possible to understand that his problem was in the weakening of male abilities. In all other respects, he remained the most exemplary husband: he provided money, did not offend his step daughter, continued to remain an attentive and kind family man.
Attempts to persuade her husband to go to a sexologist were also unsuccessful. The woman was jealous of him for some time, thinking that he had a mistress, but then she resigned herself to the lack of sex. She was reassured by the fact that her husband spent all the evenings, nights and holidays at home. Moreover, having his own apartment, he did not show any intention to leave the family. Since her husband loved to stay late at the computer and prevented her from sleeping, they even began to sleep in different rooms. If you are impotent, what can you do?
In such a platonic relationship, the couple lived for several years, until the wife discovered that her husband was watching porn films with girls. And, shocked by this, she finally thought about the fact that a young husband could seduce her daughter. Was he really such a scoundrel? How could your own daughter go to such meanness, become a rival to her mother? How so?! How could they ?! Can not be! The woman was beside herself with anger. I felt humiliated, betrayed by two of my dearest people.
Yes, it so happened that for several years the woman did not notice that her husband was cohabitating with her young daughter. The mother figured out that at the time when her husband became "impotent," the girl was only 7 years old. And the skillfully seduced girl managed to get used to the role of her stepfather's mistress, having fallen in love with him already as a man. And quite successfully played her role as an obedient and correct mother's daughter according to the script of her stepfather. In retrospect, the woman recalled that she had gone on a visit, on business trips alone, leaving her daughter with her stepfather alone, not to mention other moments that should have long alerted a gullible woman.
A man who subtly and brazenly corrupted and fell in love with his little stepdaughter, undoubtedly demands all condemnation. However, the main culprit of this family drama can be called the mother, who, having brought a man who is alien to the child into the house, into the family, could not protect her daughter from a lecherous pedophile.
You cannot, of course, see in every stepfather a pedophile and a libertine. And yet, for women who find husbands for themselves, while having daughters, it is important to understand that over time, living under the same roof with the daughters of his woman, the newly-minted husband, by his masculine nature, can begin to react to them as small, but women.
Especially if he is a mentally immature, problematic man.
Especially if it's a drinker.
Especially if the wife cannot organize a life together so as not to tempt a man to manifest his biological principle (sleeping together, bathing, kissing and hugging, the habit of walking around in his underwear, a long stay with his stepfather alone without a mother …).
We must not forget that growing daughters can involuntarily perceive their mothers as rivals, seeing how the stepfather is affectionate with his wife or the mother is flirting with the stepfather. Remembering conscience, social prohibitions, it is better not to forget about the biological principle, which should not be tempted.
Recommended:
Female Archetypes. Earthly Mother And Great Mother
Archetypes. Archetypes are the filling of our soul, it is the language in which we can speak with our unconscious. Only by establishing contact with our soul, we will be able to understand ourselves, our feelings and our actions. But the archetype is what lives in the soul of every person, no matter where in the world he lives, no matter what language he speaks, no matter the color of his skin, from his religion.
Here And Now In Contact Between Mother And Child. How To Be A Bad Mother
I would like to share a little experience of psychotherapy with several young mothers who have recently given birth to their first child and are faced with the problems and difficulties of their new situation. The events described relate to that recent time, when the consultation of a psychologist and work with a psychotherapist seemed to many to be something unusual and exotic.
MOTHER / FATHER'S HAND AND MOTHER AND FATHER'S HAND TECHNIQUES
The techniques are designed to explore relationships with mother / father, unconscious aspects of interaction in relationships, male and female aspects of personality, conflict zones in relationships with parents. In general, the diagnostic capabilities of the technique are quite wide.
Whom To Save: A Child From A Mother Or A Mother From A Child?
Ideal Mother A very good mom sacrifices herself and puts her child first. He completely forgets about his own life and needs. Indignation and irritation pressures, because good mothers are not angry with their own children. This is the lot of bad mothers.
Am I A BAD MOTHER? I Am An Ordinary, Good Enough Mother
Why is such importance in psychology given to infancy and the age of 6 years? What's wrong at this age? Why is there so much emphasis on the mother-child relationship? How to distinguish between BAD or GOOD mother ??? Isn't there a better term between these two poles?