2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
After the divorce, she began to behave inappropriately for a woman at this age. Wears boots, leather skirts and python bags. Her appearance attracts men, and I am ashamed of her.
Boris wrote to me unexpectedly. He was confused in words, and I did not immediately understand what he wanted from me.
Boris is 17 years old and has a difficult relationship with his mother.
- My mother is 43 years old. Three years ago she was an ordinary calm woman until she met HIM. He was powerful, wealthy and famous in our city.
The fact that she decided to get married a second time did not bother me in principle. He gave her, it seemed, everything: position, money, car, house. But the marriage did not last long.
Now mom is alone again. And it seems to me that after the divorce, she began to behave inappropriately for a woman at that age. Mom wears boots, leather skirts and python bags. Her appearance attracts men, and I am ashamed of her. One gets the impression that she went out to hunt rich males.
"Well, what about you?" - friends joke. - "It gives money - and okay."
Yes, but at what cost! I suffer so much from her behavior and I want my mother to return to her normal appearance!
As we get older, we begin to look at the world differently. Our parents' behavior is changing too. Sometimes it seems to us that they seem to be different. Many people simply stop recognizing their mothers. And, apart from resentment against them, it brings us nothing.
Why is this happening?
First, you grow up. In childhood, any behavior of mom (and dad, respectively, but in the article I will focus on mom) is perceived solely as truth.
Growing up, you understand that this is not at all the case. And mom, like any person, tends to be delusional. You have your own point of view on completely different situations in life, and since you are young and hot, you cannot admit a wrong (different point of view).
Secondly, the child has a clear conviction that the mother is the person who owes him in life. Must by his birthright.
You are my mother, you gave birth to me, which means you must take care of me, protect, provide, give love! And if for some reason the child does not receive it, an internal protest arises.
As you grow up, your mind changes and you begin to realize that your mother owes you as much as any other person. And you begin to accept her gifts with gratitude.
Third, the difference in the concepts of ages.
When I was 15, it seemed that a 25-year-old woman was already an aunt, and at 40 she was generally an old woman.
Now my friend is 39 with a ponytail, she is going to get married for the third time and wants to give birth to her beloved child. This does not surprise me, does not bother me and does not cause any negative emotions at all. Now imagine me at 15 years old with this information?
Perhaps Boris did not get into any of these three points I listed, but the problem of the relationship between children and parents was and remains.
So what can you do about it?
To love.
- To love? What's so simple? Just pick up and love?
Yes, love your mom again. Not the one who kissed you in the morning, cooked pancakes and scolded you for your lessons.
And a new one, independent, with its own desires, with its own fears and mistakes.
Get to know her again.
Look at her not with that childish gaze, but with a new, adult, conscious one.
She did not change, no! She is the same mother who loves you very much and has dedicated her life to you. You have changed, which means you have to accept it.
By changing our attitude to a situation, we can change its entire course.
Let your mom be who she wants to be. After all, once she allowed you to grow into the person you have become.
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