2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I will make a reservation right away that there is no such term as post-abortion syndrome (PAS) officially yet. Usually we are talking about the development of post-traumatic stress disorder, as a result of experiencing an experience that the person himself designates as traumatic (personal significance of the experience).
Despite the fact that there is a number of studies that do not confirm the development of PAS, nevertheless, both common sense (the response to an event that was traumatic for a person), and the experience of family and perinatal psychologists, phenomenologically show that PAS is one of the realities of human experience. Of course, the problem requires further research.
Of course, both postpartum depression and post-abortion experiences are those conditions that arise, if they arise, in women, since it is in her body that a new life is born, it is she who lives the pregnancy, and makes the final decision about the birth of the child. However, there is research on the development of postpartum depression in men (for example, here).
Considering that not every woman has any psychological consequences of an abortion, or are very delayed in time (if, for example, the attitude towards an event changes after years or even decades), the issue of diagnosing PAS in men is even more difficult. … But that is why it is interesting, since his research encounters such complicating facts as:
- the physical impossibility of experiencing pregnancy and childbirth, and, hence, the possible some abstract perception of the child before birth, especially in the very early stages, when there is no way to feel the movement of the child, putting his hand on the partner's belly;
- Difficulties in determining the initial readiness for fatherhood - not / desire to be a father at the moment or with a specific woman - can also leave an imprint on the attitude towards the child, incl. in case of abortion;
- attitude towards abortion in society as a whole, as an easily accessible and legal form of birth control, as a means of contraception in the early stages (medical abortion or drug prevention of pregnancy in the first 72 hours after intercourse), which can also affect the perception of an event in a man …
Thus, their own attitude towards the fact of the partner's pregnancy and the awareness of the value of human life from the moment of conception come to the fore. If for a man the partner's pregnancy was desirable and expected, then the likelihood of developing PAS in the event of an abortion is high.
Possible manifestations of PAS in men:
- the development of depression, the development of alienation and coldness in relationships, a possible break in relationships;
- obsessive memories, fantasies about the birth of an aborted child;
- depreciation of relations, inability to trust a partner;
- different forms of avoidance: alcoholism, immersion in work, looking for connections on the side …
As a small illustration, I offer a short excerpt from the movie "The Moan of the Black Snake", 2006, with Samuel Leroy Jackson in the title role. The film has a completely different storyline, but this episode turns out to reflect all the emotional pain of a man who lost a child due to his wife's abortion.
Translation:
I haven't played for anyone in years.
I have always wanted to have many children. But my wife was not ready, she wanted to wait. One spring, I noticed a change in her body, her breasts increased, I heard her vomiting in the bathroom in the morning. I noticed this in other women, and I guessed.
Rose once said that she was going to Jackson to visit relatives, and I had better stay at home. I don't know what they were talking about, but she got rid of the child, had an abortion, and killed the child. I can not forget. When I think I forgot, everything comes back. When I am delirious, when I cannot find my way home, when I am lost … I called it "the groan of the black snake" …
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