The Psychology Of A Fighter For Justice?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Probably, everyone in his life met with people like freedom fighters. Who at every step are trying to rebuild everything, change, fight everyone in a row, and we can even say that they are fighting with the whole world … In this article, we will consider the psychological portrait of such a person, what is it caused by and, in fact, what to do with it all.

Meeting such people, strong fighters for justice, first of all, you understand that a person experiencing injustice has certain grievances. Because when we experience injustice, we feel hurt. And when such people come to me, I always ask the question: what is the person offended, what kind of pain is hidden behind this fight against injustice?

Of course, at the moment when a person is fighting for justice in relation to himself, his boundaries, this is understandable and clear. But there are those who are trying to completely change the world, to change everything that they see around. For example, the situation of the hierarchy, all oligarchs, please remove, make all the poor rich, make all the rich poor, etc. And on the one hand, you can see in this a lack of knowledge of how the world and society work. Because society is arranged in this way, remove the oligarchs, other oligarchs will come, there are still leaders in life, someone is stronger, someone is weaker, there are slaves and there are scapegoats, there are not obvious leaders, gray cardinals. Remove all these people, the same people will come and the hierarchy will not go anywhere.

The film "Blindness" describes this situation well. This is not a very famous film, I found it by accident. The picture is post-apocalypse, when all the past authorities were removed, but new ones came in their place anyway. And despite the fact that there was a catastrophe, the life of society has not changed, because without it there is nowhere. And looking at people who are trying to remake society and how the world works, you remember the illustration with a little girl. Who urges her mother to make the sky green.

Where does this attitude to the world come from? Again, we come to childhood, where we can see many experiences of injustice, pains that my mother could not help to survive, was not empathic enough. Perhaps such a child has often heard: this is not possible, and this is also not possible, constant restrictions. There are no such solid ones - that's all.

And the fact that my mother said “no” to certain things is quite normal and even correct. But, hearing “no” from the mother, it is extremely important for the child to hear and understand why: “no”? Mom needed to explain to the child, for example, the case with the sky: “dear, forgive me, but I can’t do anything: the sky is blue, it will be blue, I understand it’s offensive to you and I would like the sky to be green, but in life it’s not maybe it’s the way you want it, you know?” It is clear that the sky situation is just an example. But there are quite a lot of similar situations in the child's interaction with the world, and it is very important for the mother to help her child understand that not everything in our life is just the way we wanted it. There are certain rules, responsibilities, situations in which we do not choose, but everything is already arranged, and we just need to be able to live in them. For example, mom buy me a Kinder, do something for me, don't go to work, play with me when mom is tired. All these points are very important to pronounce.

Why are parents often unable to speak it out? Because, at such moments, the mother needs to admit, first of all, to herself that she is not omnipotent, she cannot give everything to her child. And if mom accepts this as her own imperfection, some kind of inferiority, she silently begins to pretend to be perfect, omnipotent. But the problem is that from such behavior of the mother, the child is offended even more, this causes even more emotions and he is struggling all his life in order to, nevertheless, achieve what he did not achieve from his mother. Through too strong upholding of their borders, through an attempt to correct the world, "robingudism" and "salvation" are all about the same thing.

In general, a fight, you see, is an aggressive act. A person who is fighting for something has a tremendous amount of inner rage. After all, resentment lives in him for a very long time, very permanently, it has been accumulating in him throughout a huge segment of his life, and now it is expressed by rage at the world and an attempt to destroy everything, or, perhaps, to build something new, but the most important thing is to destroy that, what is now.

Again, there is a narcissistic manifestation associated with a narcissistic mother, who could not admit her “incompetence”, her impotence in some places and be just human, emotionally included, experience these feelings with the child, sufficiently contain these feelings: and rage against the mother, and resentment against the mother. "You can get angry with me, but I'm with you, I still don't leave you."

And looking at such “fighters” you come to understand that this message from the mother, this involvement in the life and experiences of the child, were not sufficiently manifested. Accordingly, the child is furious and tries to neutralize everything that is in this world, what is called annihilation aggression and rage. And of course, the degree of such a struggle for justice plays an important role, but I am now talking about the peak struggle for justice at every step with every person, with every phenomenon, with every event - this is all from the zone of narcissism.

If we talk about how to behave when faced with such a person, then I would first of all advise you to put psychological protection against this inner rage. Why? Since this rage was not contained by the child's mother in childhood, he will want you to contain this rage. And you can either contain this rage with him forever, or hide from this rage, let him experience it himself. In some ways, fencing off a little when a person's rage flares up: for example, to disperse, to speak: listen, let's talk later, or let me go to my room, and you “look around” here, I can't listen to this, forgive me, please etc.

You just need to protect yourself from the rage of this person. This rage is not directed at you, even if the person does not realize it, in his own impulse, but this rage is directed at the mother, who could not contain his feelings and now he wants you to become those objects of that mother. This is how these people are arranged.

It is treated in psychotherapy. But only for money, such a person is ready to contain this amount of aggression. And this is a very huge, demanding work, at first it is a huge work of containing this rage, then interpreting, returning and mirroring. Consideration of situations and analysis, when, together with a person, you look at why you are doing this and that, finding a connection with his past, with some specific events. It depends on how the mother acted, how he acts now … Often such people had a furious, aggressive mother and the person simply repeats the mother's forms, perhaps in another version, for example, the mother showed aggression passively, and he now actively shows them. There are different situations.

But, in general, this is quite a huge work, for at least a year, a week a week a person will need to attend psychotherapy. And if a person has a strong narcissistic compensation or, in principle, a narcissistic character, then this is a good three years. But this can be cured thanks to the therapist's patience, the ability to see the big picture and the ability to convey to the client in a trusting relationship, when the person who is angry can already trust the therapist and understands that the therapist does not want to offend him with this, but wants to help make life better. It is done, but it is pain. Because you have to hear about yourself some not very pleasant things, moments. But this pain, in order to make a person better, it will be much easier for him later in life with this knowledge about himself. In fact, as in any case, work in psychotherapy.