Zero Point

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

"If you drown and stick to the bottom, lie down for a day, lie down for two, and then you will get used to it."

The zero point is our knowledge of what is normal. That is to say, the default settings: something for us is valid or unacceptable; what we consider acceptable and usually do not notice how we do not notice the air we breathe. This knowledge is not always clearly understood, sometimes it is not easy to formulate it. This zero point becomes noticeable only if someone else “helps” us or if we ourselves sharply go beyond it. For example, when we see how someone abuses a child, if we did not have experience of abuse in childhood, we react to it very emotionally, we are indignant: “This is not normal! You can't do that! Or another example: how much alcohol do we consider normal to drink? Is a bottle of beer a week a lot or a little? And two? And three?

The important point about the zero point is that this point is movable. This is how addictions are formed - gradually and imperceptibly the zero point shifts and instead of one cigarette, a pack per day smoothly appears on the nerves, "drank for the company" moves to "looking for a company to drink." Or food addiction, when the usual reward for a hard day in the form of candy turns into a cake every day, because there is so much stress. A relationship with a cruel man can start like a rainbow tale, think, jealous by the hand, grabbed it sharply … And gradually, day after day, cruelty becomes more and more. And zero, the norm, gradually creeps in parallel with manifestations of violence. On this slipping of the zero point sects are built: they begin relations with a new convert with promises of eternal happiness, with community, friendly solidarity and acceptance, and can end up by submission of the will and total control up to mass suicides. normal and almost nothing has changed, and only those around for some reason start to sound the alarm. The same mechanism works in psi psychological trauma, when, instead of the natural rhythm of tension-relaxation, the body freezes in over-tension and readiness to repel any attack, and this state of heightened vigilance and readiness for battle becomes the norm, replacing the healthy opportunity to be in various states: both relaxed, feeling the safety of the surrounding world, and tense when danger arises.

Another subtlety concerns the rate of change, with the possible exception of dependencies. The slower the zero point moves, the more likely it is to gain a foothold on it. This rule applies specifically to skills, be it physical or psychological changes. Often people come to a psychologist's consultation for a miracle, a wonderful insight, which will change the whole life of a person. But this is rarely the case. It's like coming to the gym for the first time, trying to take on superweight and waiting for great muscle relief the next day. Or go on a miracle diet that promises to make you a slimmer in a week, but for some reason already in the second week a strong, irresistible "hunger" arises, and all the kilograms come back with an advantage. Of course, working together with a psychologist to shift the zero point cannot be quick: step by step, day by day in consultation and in between - this is the only way to return yourself, your values and your "zero" to the zone that is your present and in which you feel whole and full of strength.

But there is good news as well. The fact that this zero point is not constant gives rise to the possibility of positive changes. For example, when we were children and did not know how to write, it was a feat to hold the pen correctly, then it became the norm, and the feat was to write a few letters, then write a page, then formulate a thought, and as a result, the writing itself became the norm, a point scratch. It is the same with many other skills that we acquire in life, this is the basis of learning. And to the same extent the basis of psychotherapy. Psychotherapy is a chance to return the zero point to a more comfortable zone, an opportunity to come to a more harmonious life, to reset to zero from difficult life situations, losses, distortions. In trauma therapy, by working with tension, constriction, and hypervigilance, we help the client return to the zero point that was before the trauma that hurried her into a state of relaxation, safety and clarity. A state in which there is no running of thoughts in a circle, but there is an openness to the perception of the world and the experience of comfort and one's own strength.

The same laws work in overcoming addiction - at first it is unbearable without a cigarette or bottle, then a little easier and after a while - different for different people, non-smoking and sobriety become the norm. Part of the craving remains forever, addiction does not pass without leaving a trace, but staying in sobriety, albeit maintaining constant awareness and vigilance, becomes the norm, a zero point.