Cognitive Bias And What To Do About It

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

“The chief somehow frowned. Probably, I will soon be fired "," My girlfriend does not call. Looks like she’s out of love.” For some reason, we explain the actions of others, not knowing what is happening. In fact, the boss or the girl might have had a tough day or not feeling well. Such explanations cause a lot of concern and significantly reduce the quality of life. Psychologist Victoria Keilin explains why cognitive biases occur and gives advice on how to deal with them.

We know that people show feelings and express their thoughts in different ways, but we still constantly count points: who bought food, who took a walk with the dog, who put things in order at home, who slept well while the other was suffering from insomnia. Objective facts and real actions can be “just talked about,” but cognitive distortions can be bad for relationships with others. We figure out what it is and how to deal with it.

What are cognitive biases?

Arbitrary conclusions - when you think out for another. For example: "a doctor with such a serious face is studying the results of my tests - it looks like everything is very bad."

Overgeneralization is the tendency to infer rules from random events and beliefs: "all men are polygamous" and "women do not know what they want."

Distortion of experience - here the detail taken out of context is taken as a basis, while the overall picture of what is happening is ignored. “She said she was too tired to have sex. Obviously, she got another one. It doesn't matter that the reason for the fatigue was a burning deadline and work until late at night.

Exaggeration or understatement - when some events become overvalued for a person, while others, on the contrary, are devalued, while logic and common sense are ignored. I was fired. Obviously, I am a bad programmer and will never be able to find a decent job”- a statement based only on fear and low self-esteem.

Personalization is the feeling that the world revolves only around you. "The boss is angry because of me." "The partner ate in silence and went to his room - he no longer loves me." "My girlfriend is sad - apparently, she's not interested in me anymore." But in fact, the boss has a difficult meeting ahead, the husband is puzzled by the reports, the bride has her period and has a stomach ache - and this has nothing to do with you.

How to stop thinking for others

Try to track what events are causing you destructive feelings and emotions.

Determine which interpretations, irrational thoughts and images follow.

Reflect on what attitudes support these irrational thoughts and what facts can be opposed to them.

Based on the chained structure, guess what is more realistic and constructive - the result will be a reassessment of emotions and changes in reactions.

For example, due to the fact that your mother criticizes your marriage, you feel fear and resentment: suddenly your spouse leaves and you are left alone, because your mother always says that you will disappear (destructive feelings and emotions). But at the same time you live separately, have time to work and do household chores (facts). That is, in fact, you are doing an excellent job, everything is in order in your relationship, and your mother just rips off evil from the fact that she is lonely - as a result of such reflections, fear goes away, self-confidence and the ability to resist destructive criticism appear.

How to find the cause of cognitive biases

In most cases, the thoughts lying on the surface only mask the true problems lurking in the depths. Our job is to identify real fear, find what really bothers you, and work through (possibly change) the belief underlying the cognitive bias.

The technique used for this is called the "falling arrow technique", but I call it the "onion" - because the essence of the algorithm is to remove as many layers from the "onion" as possible until there is only a "core" left. First, formulate the thought lying on the surface. For example: "when they shout at me, I get scared." Then ask the first clarifying question: "What does this mean?" Ideally, follow-up questions should remain constant throughout the exercise. For example, the query “I want to be loved” would be perfectly matched by the question “… so what?”. And to the query "I'm afraid that I will be fired" - the question "why?" or "what happens next?"

In general terms, the process of "undressing the onion" may look like this:

I get scared when the boss yells at me. - What does it mean?

He thinks I'm not a good enough employee. - What does it mean?

If I do not do my job well, I will be fired. - What does it mean? or What will happen next?

If I get fired, I will not be able to pay for the private school for the children. - What happens next?

They will not receive a good education and will live like me. - And what does it mean?

They, too, will go to their unloved work and endure the rudeness of their boss for the sake of a meager salary.

In this example, we have reached a new level of query. The point is not the fear of shouting or even the fear of the boss, but the humiliation from the unloved work and forced submission. It is possible and necessary to work with this further. The key is to find the limiting belief that underlies thinking and change it.

What other techniques can be applied

Self-monitoring is a technique for tracking automatic thoughts. In fact, a diary with the calculation and categorization of disturbing thoughts: when, how many times, about what, why, and the like. Suitable for everyone who is uncomfortable living. Systematization will allow you to understand what events cause the most severe stress, whether the activity of anxious thoughts depends on the time of day, and what mechanisms are best for allowing you to calm down.

De-catastrophization is a "worst-case scenario" technique. Suppose everything is really bad, they laugh at you, the husband does not love, and the mother is right. What's next? What will happen if you bring the situation to the point of absurdity and imagine a catastrophe on a universal scale? As a rule, even the most anxious individuals, who are prone to instantly despair, quickly realize that any "nightmare" (especially created by one's own imagination) is limited in time and space, and quickly begin to look for ways to cope and normalize the situation.

Shutdown technique - come up with a “stop word”: shout, clap, any ritual in which images and thoughts are “turned off”. Works great and allows you to return to the reality of what is happening and the clarity of thinking.

Time Projection - Imagine a traumatic, annoying, or frightening event in six months, a year, or two. As a rule, over time (not to mention eternity), most of what now seems important (or scary) will lose its power and significance.

What is the bottom line

Having figured out your thoughts, feelings and having tracked those processes that interfere with a normal life, try to conduct a behavioral experiment: change your actions, reactions and thinking process. How will you react to your mother's criticism next time? How will you defend your boundaries in a conversation with your boss? How do you deal with ridicule that may have nothing to do with you and are only an indicator of your inner fears? Try to write a new behavioral script. What are you going to do differently? How will this affect the actions of others? What feelings will you experience while doing this? What conclusions can you draw from what is happening and what adjustments will you make to your own behavior next time?

Remember, you can control your own thoughts. Don't let them ruin your life.