2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In my practice, I had experience in publishing articles in international scientific journals. On the eve of the new year, I was pleased with the publication in the media, the federal news agency RIAFAN. The article was devoted to abusive relationships.
There is always pain behind the abuse. A destructive attitude is a protective function due to negative experiences. For this definition, the phrase is well suited: "Everyone shares what he has, and the offended - offends"
Abusers are quite diverse figures and skillful manipulators who have a good emotional adjustment. At the beginning of the relationship, they deftly "envelop" their passion and then use it to satisfy their destructive hunger. Superiority in this case is dominant.
There are several key points to help determine if you have been a victim of an abuser:
- an excellent student syndrome arises - you try to please your partner and try to get a good grade for behavior;
- a feeling of total control - at the beginning of a relationship this is perceived as a concern, but later the victim is completely limited in communication and movement;
- a distorting mirror (the abuser distorts reality) - this leads to uncertainty in one's own perception of the world. In this case, the phrases "I did not say", "do not invent it, it seemed to you" are often used. They are the ones who question what really happened;
- a fixation of the feeling of guilt is formed during the development of relations with the abuser - patterns are formed “I am worthless”, “I cannot”, “this is my fault”;
- emotional swing - at times the abuser literally envelops with tenderness, and at times it becomes cold and closed. This cardiogram forms neurotic attachment.
To confirm exactly whether you are in a relationship with an abzer, you need to confirm the systematicity. It is necessary to be able to separate the usual conflicts and abusive relationships, which have their own periodicals.
The second thing to pay attention to is the hierarchy. The aggressor always stays in the position of a dominant and belittles his passion, bringing her into the role of a victim. Lack of caring is also a clear sign of an abusive relationship.
When people come to me with requests to work out these relationships, the first thing I start with is to try to help the client stop justifying the abuser's behavior and start noticing himself in the relationship, learn to build boundaries, ignore provocations, grope for the very resources, such as help friends and relatives. They allow you to broaden your horizons and understand that there is not only this relationship, but something more in this life.
Also, in this case, a person will have to understand that getting out of a relationship is always pain. And it is important for him to explain that all these feelings are an integral part of the life that needs to be lived.
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