2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
4. Portrait of a codependent woman
Their wives / women / girlfriends can be very emotional, bringing the relationship alive and compensating for the mental numbness that many codependent men feel inside. In the beginning of a relationship, a man may feel strong by helping a girlfriend or wife in need and giving her attention, care, custody, or gifts. At this stage, he fully meets her expectations. He, in turn, expressing his concern in this way convinces and assures himself that she will not leave him. He's trying so hard. But in the end, at some point, he discovers that this is not enough to satisfy her.
After all, a woman of a codependent will never be happy with what he does, no matter how he gives himself to her completely. Indeed, in her dissatisfaction lies her peculiarity, according to which they created such a strong pair. She is not shy about expressing her grievances through criticism, demands, control, or tantrums. Sometimes these women have mental health problems, they use drugs or alcohol, or are in dire financial straits as a result of unstable mental lives.
6. Driving emotions
Fear of rejection and / or abandonment are powerful motivators of codependent behavior.
Usually, these fears are manifested due to early emotional rejection on the part of one of the parents or two at once.
Consequently, such men never leave - physically their women - but go into a safe emotional prison, created by themselves, for example, various kinds of addictions.
Many of them often become workaholics and achieve career heights, but the need for respect, freedom and acceptance is still not closed. So although work and success provide external reinforcement of significance and approval from colleagues, they do not cover those needs that are closed only with close contact and in relationships. So, how often such people did not go through the childhood stages of integration and subsequent separation.
Therefore, after a while, disappointed, they feel trapped, controlled and offended. They may use drugs or other substances to cope with anxiety and depression, while some seek validation outside of marriage. But these are the husbands who will never leave their wife.
It must be understood that the cause of their problems is not in their wives, but in their codependency.
7. Codependency and dependence
It is also worth noting that these concepts phenomenologically have the same roots. That's right, drug addicts are codependent too. Their lives revolve around their addiction. If a codependent man is a subject around a woman, then an addict around surrogates whether it be drugs (including alcohol), sex, gambling, food or work - which they use to change their mood and self-esteem.
Convalescence involves the restoration of independence, through the separation of definition and the formation of self-esteem through external factors or subjects, as well as the ability to control cognitive forms of thinking.
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