2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I decided to continue the topic started in the articles:
New year alone. Is it really how you will meet him and will you spend?
If you feel lonely on a holiday
The general isolation has further exacerbated the problem. After all, lonely people used to be
- were "saved" in the company of friends, many of whom are now not ready to communicate, fearing to get infected,
- visited various events, restaurants, clubs on holidays, most of which are now closed,
- walked in the city squares, where it is now deserted.
And now for lonely people the only companion has become the telephone, the order of the annoying TV, or even just a ringing silence.
If you look at the psychological profile of the average lonely person, one thing becomes obvious:
Loneliness is multifaceted, multifaceted, it has no nationality, social status and age!
And yet, these people still have something in common.
As a rule, people become lonely with a large imbalance in self-esteem and the level of aspirations!
- The self-esteem of single people, despite their status and achievements, is often very low!
- And the level of claims to a partner is too high!
That is why, even when meeting, "two loneliness" cannot see and feel each other.
Puzzles don't add up like a song
Two loneliness just met
They made a fire by the road
And the fire does not want to flare up, That's all, that's the whole conversation
The fire does not light up, because both are deeply traumatized and not ready to see whoever is near! If there is such a person, he is only a tit in his hand. And they continue to dream about something unattainable, about a crane in the sky!
So an insecure woman in her fifties continues to feel like a Cinderella and wait for a handsome, athletic, not a king, but a young prince. She was not so ripe for a king! She has no resource to feel like a queen. She never fell in love with herself!
A woman ignores men who can suit her, because they seem gray and boring to her. That is why even poor women so often fall into the clutches of gigolo, which gives them the smallest fleeting warmth, taking much more.
A similar situation occurs with aging men. To feel young again, they are looking for young companions, who for the most part also need some kind of benefits from them, if not money, then at least a capital registration or, at worst, an apartment in a metropolis.
People knowingly come up with an unrealistic image of a partner for themselves, in order not to meet with him or to meet, in order to get burned.
It may not necessarily be too young a partner.
For some, this is a magician, a successful, mega-handsome or mega-rich person, from some other life, but in reality such people are not found.
At the same time, a person who continues to cultivate his loneliness and cherish the dream of "pie in the sky" does not want to do anything in order to get even a little closer to his dream. For example, to leave a small town or village, where there are no such a priori, and if there is, then they have had a couple for a long time
If you are lonely, I suggest you do this exercise
- Describe your ideal partner image with adjectives, characteristics (at least 10 points).
- Rank all items in order of importance to yourself. For example, if there are 12 points, then the most important quality corresponds to 12 points, the less important the quality for you, the less points.
- The number of points should not be repeated.
- Look at the five qualities that are least important to you. Are you ready to drop these requirements?
- Write down the remaining qualities that are most important to you and evaluate yourself by them, with minor changes. For example, if your man is 12 points masculine, rate how feminine you are, if the man is rich, how financially you are, if the man is athletic, how friendly you are with sports. Or if a woman is young and beautiful, how young and beautiful you are.
- If you succeed that you, in principle, correspond to your ideal, think: where can you meet such a person and what are you ready to do for this?
- If you see that the correspondence is very low, you have to either "grow", for example, become successful in the profession yourself, make friends with sports, etc. or, no matter how trite it sounds, lower the bar of claims.
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