I Need More Money

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

“I need more money! They come just as much as is necessary for my existence, but no more. If I need to pay for my tuition or my boots are worn out, then the required amount is always found. As soon as there are a little more of them, and a small surplus appears, something immediately happens, then the microwave breaks down, then the grandmother was admitted to the hospital, or something happens to my best friend and she begs for a little money, or I buy a pointless purchase, after which I am very sorry … This is some kind of vicious circle, I do not know how to get out of it. - this topic was voiced by the client at the group on systemic constellations.

I saw how many people nodded in understanding, smiled and heard sad sighs. This topic was close and familiar to many. Word by word, a discussion on this topic began. People expressed well-known dogmas about this and that, we ourselves choose our level of financial stability, others argued that all our misfortunes boil down to financial illiteracy in handling our own resources and all the problems in our thinking and Soviet ideology, and that now there are many courses and trainings on the theme of "abundance", - "Yeah, which are led by the same" beggars "leaders …" - there was an objection from the group. “But I was consulted by a very successful therapist, we were just working with my inability to allow myself more … I wrote down and taught everything, controlled expenses and honestly put 10% in the piggy bank.

I visualized my dream to such trifles that I felt my desired life in color, smell and taste, and after a few years, my goal was achieved, I made plans for further development and prosperity, so what? The crisis, the loan that has nothing to pay with, the debt hole, and recently they hit on the head at the entrance and pulled out an expensive mobile phone, it’s good at least survived. It would be better if I lived as before, but I knew that if you were born into a family of a peasant and a proletariat, then there is nothing to pretend to be a tsarist life …. And what should I do now? … "With this argument, many agreed that being is determined by consciousness, and indeed" every cricket should know its strikes."

Before I started talking about the systemic understanding of the "theme of money", I proposed to conduct a constellation for our client. After she put her deputy in front of the money deputy, we saw with what interest and lust they looked at each other, slowly and hesitantly the figures moved towards each other. But the less the distance became, the more the deputy client started to have a headache and fear, finally she could not stand it and said: “Stop! I can't go on, I feel a terrible danger, as if death itself wants to embrace me”- the client quietly cried, she realized that this was the feeling she felt when she once held a large sum of money in her hands. And migraine attacks began at the age of twelve, since then they have been a part of her life. “This is all mom and grandmother with their convictions:“Money is nothing but trouble, we don't need it!”- she stated.

The introduction of this belief into figure placement showed that the root of the problem was at the level of the maternal great-grandmother and great-grandfather. It turned out that they had been dispossessed. The family was the richest in the village, there was land and economy, hired people and even a mill, and when the last cow was taken away from the yard, the great-grandmother, unable to bear it, rushed to her offenders … she died from a blow to the head, but before her death she suffered for several days from severe pain and begged to relieve her of this suffering.

Great-grandfather was left alone - in his arms a baby and five children. He could not stand the shocks and terrible feelings of guilt, drank and completely abandoned the children. Grandmother was the oldest she was 12, she left for a neighboring city to find at least some kind of work, and when she returned a few months later, she saw that only ruins remained from her parent's house, in a fit of anger and despair, and as a sign In protest, the great-grandfather set fire to the house along with himself and the children. The smallest girl survived, whom the great-grandmother's sister agreed to take to her on the eve.

After this tragedy, a conviction appeared in the family system, a system driver: "money is life-threatening!" And this turned out not to be an ideology or a collective thought-form, but a real experience of a real family. After performing a ritual aimed at completing the systemic interweaving of the client's fate and the fate of her ancestors, she said that she was always afraid of fires, and that her mother's younger brother is now a widower, he and his wife had a car accident as a result of which his wife died from a head injury after lying in intensive care for three days. A tiny girl was left in her arms, her uncle started drinking, and my mother is just now preparing documents for adoption … And then, she added that there is a large birthmark on her son's body, which resembles a burned one.

There was deathly silence in the group, it was clear how many evaluated what they saw and rethought their own ancestral stories. In constellations with requests for the topic of money, we often come to dispossession, repression, famines, loss of fortune by the nobles in 1917, unfair distribution of inheritance, theft, looting, regardless of which side we were on, whether our ancestors were victims, as in in this case, or vice versa, by the aggressor, those who shot, took away or illegally enriched themselves.

Each generic system has its own morphogenetic field, this information field in which there is information about the entire system as a whole. At an unconscious genetic level, we have information about the fate of our ancestors, everything they failed to cope with, everything that was not completed we received through transgenerational transmission in the form of behavior patterns and unfinished scenarios. Systemic constellations help to see hidden connections and systemic interweaving, to process the experience gained in the parental family, to get rid of the negative, inhibiting, delimiting influence of family history on current life, to revive potential resources, to increase the efficiency of existence and full-fledged development of the personality.